I remember being single and desperately praying to God, for a husband. I was relentless. Well meaning Christians rebuked me for “not being single and satisfied” or “not waiting on God’s timing.” If I had listened to them, I probably would not be married to Lucas, and Where’s My Mate? may never have been written. (If you have not read Where’s My Mate? then please read it. It is my testimony of how I prayed in a husband.) There is nowhere in God’s word where you are encouraged to sit around, passively waiting for deliverance. In fact, Jesus Christ demands you do not give up in prayer.
Read the next two sets of scriptures and write down how they personally speak to you
And going away from there, Jesus withdrew to the district of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a woman who was a Canaanite from that district came out and, with a [loud, troublesomely urgent] cry, begged, Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is miserably and distressingly and cruelly possessed by a demon! But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came and implored Him, saying, Send her away, for she is crying out after us. He answered, I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. But she came and, kneeling, worshiped Him and kept praying, Lord, help me! And He answered, It is not right (proper, becoming, or fair) to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs. She said, Yes, Lord, yet even the little pups (little whelps) eat the crumbs that fall from their [young] masters’ table. Then Jesus answered her, O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you wish. And her daughter was cured from that moment. Matt 15: 21-28 AMP
One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. “There was a judge in a certain city,” he said, “who neither feared God nor cared about people. A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying, ‘Give me justice in this dispute with my enemy.’ The judge ignored her for a while, but finally he said to himself, ‘I don’t fear God or care about people, but this woman is driving me crazy. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!’ Then the Lord said, “Learn a lesson from this unjust judge. Even he rendered a just decision in the end. So don’t you think God will surely give justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will grant justice to them quickly! But when the Son of Man returns, how many will he find on the earth who have faith?” Luke 18:1-9 NLT
I have heard this excuse concerning praying for a mate many times:
“God heard me the first time I prayed for a mate, I shouldn’t keep praying over and over for the same thing.”
If this is your excuse, you are absolutely wrong. You need to pray until you are engaged. Then after you are engaged, you need to pray all the way to the altar for God’s protection. The Apostle Paul was very clear we are fighting an unseen spiritual battle and we are to pray at all times in the Spirit, with ALL manner of prayer:
For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere.Therefore put on God’s complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place].Stand therefore [hold your ground], having tightened the belt of truth around your loins and having put on the breastplate of integrity and of moral rectitude and right standing with God,And having shod your feet in preparation [to face the enemy with the firm-footed stability, the promptness, and the readiness produced by the good news] of the Gospel of peace.Lift up over all the [covering] shield of saving faith, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked [one].And take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit wields, which is the Word of God. Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. Ephesians 6:12-16 AMP
If you are not “single and satisfied” it is because you are not supposed to be. If you are forcing your self to be fulfilled with status quo, then you are living a lie. You are not content because in your heart (where Jesus lives) you know you are to be married. So don’t give up. If it is truly not God’s timing for you to look for and meet your mate, then you will have a knowing, a peace, a supernatural satisfaction about being single.
Do you have a peace about being single, or is there a deep dissatisfaction in you concerning being single?
If you answered yes, that you have peace, then keep praying for a mate, and ask the Holy Spirit to let you know when it is time for marriage.
If you answered no, then you remind God of his covenant with you concerning sending you a mate. You hound the throne room of God for an answer! Put a demand on heaven to tell you why you are not married yet AND what steps you need to take to receive your mate. The Canaanite woman did not take no for an answer when Jesus originally ignored her. She got the answer and her daughter was healed.
When I was praying for a mate, I believed for God to speak to me in such a way I would understand. For you to know how to receive a mate, you MUST ask God to speak to you. Sometimes it is illumination of His word. That means you are reading his word, or listening to a sermon and suddenly a portion of scripture is imparted into you in such a way you have faith for a certain promise. Another way is through a prophetic word. This could be through a friend, a sermon you hear or someone purposely operating with a prophetic anointing that is submitted to Jesus Christ. The most common way is a “knowing” in your heart. You MUST believe God to give you instruction concerning finding and receiving a mate. Once you receive your instruction, then you now have a COVENANT. If you have read Where’s My Mate? you know I received instruction from the Lord every step of the way. I reminded God of his covenant with me and received a mate. Is this always easy to do? Nope. It can take time, patience and endurance. But if you want to get married bad enough you will stop expecting other people or God to do all the work for you. A common mistake I see with singles is that they pray once or twice, maybe even attend my bible study, but fail to do the work. The bible says in Ephesians:
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think,according to the power that works within us, Ephesians 3:20 NASB
That power is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit enables us, prompts us, encourages us, but ultimately we do the work. Make a commitment to spend time with God asking and believing him to give you specific instruction every step of the way concerning YOUR part for receiving the mate he has for you.