Wednesday, July 22, 2015

5 Reasons You Should Write a "Mate List"

Then the Lord replied: Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. For the revelation awaits an appointed time;  it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it it will certainly come and will not delay. Habakkuk 2:2
Before I was a Christian, I would hang out in bars to get a man. My girlfriends and I would discuss why we would (or would not) date certain men who bought us drinks. We would verbally list positive and negative attributes. Unfortunately, during that period of my life, my standards weren't very high! I was in my late teens, very early twenties and was mainly concerned about what a man physically looked like. And, did he drive a nice car? True character qualities weren't really on my radar. Which consequently, my low standards led me to marry a very attractive, but alcoholic and illegal drug using man when I was 21. After a horrible divorce about two years later, I studied the bible on marriage. The bible is full of scriptures admonishing you on what type of person to (and not to) associate with. Jesus Christ often focused on character traits. My standards for a husband drastically changed!
Of course I still wanted someone I found physically attractive, so that was on my new, now written down, list. But this time, Godly characteristics were a top priority! I wanted someone who was already serving Christ and had good fruit! I also knew for an enjoyable marriage you needed to have some things in common. So those items were written down.
Everyone has a list! To say "I don't want to put God in a box" as an excuse to not have a written list, is fallacy. You are actually lying! If you didn't have a list, you would most likely already be married. But if you aren't, it is because you have an internal list that has not been matched! Or you did meet someone who matched, but you didn't match their list so it didn't work out.
1. You can honestly evaluate what you truly want in a spouse.
2. Have a point of reference when you date.
3. Easily know within a couple of dates whether or not you should continue dating someone. Saves time and emotional investment.
4. Protects you from a mismatch. Much easier to enjoy your marriage when you know you married the "person of your dreams."
5. Writing down attributes you want in a partner help identify where you may have fears or strongholds preventing you from marriage. If you still have "baggage" from a past relationship, you may write down attributes out of fear. Such as "man who will not berate me." Instead of "man who produces the fruit of kindness." This will allow you to recognize a wound, so you can seek God for healing.
Spend time before the throne of God asking Him to help you write your mate list. After all, he already knows who he is sending to you. You will simply be agreeing with his plan. I do recommend notating on this list what are "must have" and "would like to have" traits. Before you start writing, read the following scriptures out loud and then pray the following prayer:
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. Psalm 37:4AMP
Commit your works unto the Lord, and your thoughts shall be established. Proverbs 16:3 
Heavenly Father I come boldly before your throne in the name of Jesus Christ. Your word says that if I delight myself in you, then you will give me the desires of my heart. I chose to delight myself in you and I ask that you fill my heart now with the characteristics of the mate you have for me. I commit the work of writing down these characteristics to you and I ask you establish my thoughts in this area. Amen.