Christian dating advice

Chasing Ishmael

2012-02-08T04:52:00.001-08:00

Chasing Ishmael blogposts will be on my biblical finances blog:

http://biblicalfinances.blogspot.com/

Day Six- Chasing Ishmael

2012-02-06T05:59:00.001-08:00

ONE OF the seven angels who had the seven bowls then came and spoke to me, saying, Come with me! I will show you the doom (sentence, judgment) of the great harlot (idolatress) who is seated on many waters, And [the angel] bore me away [rapt] in the Spirit into a desert (wilderness), and I saw a woman seated on a scarlet beast that was all covered with blasphemous titles (names), and he had seven heads and ten horns.[She] with whom the rulers of the earth have joined in prostitution (idolatry) and with the wine of whose immorality (idolatry) the inhabitants of the earth have become intoxicated. Revelations 17:1-3 AMP

Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Revelations 3:17-19 KJV

“Neither hot nor cold. Is that how you want to look to Me? My judgments are swift and sure. Revelations was written at the end of My book and is meant to reveal to the reader what happens when you choose not to obey My word. My word is secure. My Holy Spirit has been given to help. Do you seek My counsel? I AM the Holy Spirit. I AM the Word of God. Are you seeking Me for direction? Don’t be deceived, don’t listen to teaching that will demean the meaning of my book of Revelations. Every word is true, and I meant every word. If you are neither hot nor cold I WILL vomit you out of My mouth. You will not care what people think of you when you face judgment. You will only care about how you look to Me. Whether or not your obeyed Me with all of your heart, mind, body and soul. Do not be deceived, a teaching is coming, and has already arrived that demeans the meaning of Revelations. It will run rampant in My church, but don’t believe a word of it. It is a doctrine of Satan and meant to bring My already lukewarm church into judgment. Because if Satan cannot get you to renounce service to Me, he will look for ways to pull you into My punishment. Don’t believe any teachings that do not point you to Me. Don’t believe any doctrines that disqualify My word, that allow for sin to rule and reign instead of holiness. A sure sign of a false teaching is when ungodly behavior is excused.”

Scriptures to study:

Let him who is taught the word share in all good things with him who teaches. Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith. See with what large letters I have written to you with my own hand! Galatians 6:6-11 NKJV

A watchman on the tower in Jezreel spied the company of Jehu as he came, and said, I see a company. And Joram said, Send a horseman to meet them and have him ask, Do you come in peace?So one on horseback went to meet him and said, Thus says the king: Is it peace? And Jehu said, What have you to do with peace? Rein in behind me. And the watchman reported, The messenger came to them, but he does not return.Then Joram sent out a second man on horseback, who came to them and said, Thus says the king: Is it peace? Jehu replied, What have you to do with peace? Ride behind me.And the watchman reported, He came to them, but does not return; also the driving is like the driving of Jehu son of Nimshi, for he drives furiously.Joram said, Make ready. When his chariot was made ready, Joram king of Israel and Ahaziah king of Judah went out, each in his chariot. Thus they went out to meet Jehu and met him in the field of Naboth the Jezreelite.When Joram saw Jehu, he said, Is it peace, Jehu? And he answered, How can peace exist as long as the fornications of your mother Jezebel and her witchcrafts are so many? 2 Kings 9:17-22 AMP

Day Five-Chasing Ishmael

2012-02-05T04:56:00.001-08:00

HE WHO dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand].I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust! For [then] He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. Psalm 91:1-3 AMP

You will destroy those who speak lies; the Lord abhors [and rejects] the bloodthirsty and deceitful man. Psalm 5:6 AMP

“If you remain in the secret place of the Most High, deception will have a hard time sticking to you. Wise decisions come from dwelling in the secret place of the Most High. In My throne lies truth. How do you dwell with Me permanently? It is a step of faith. By faith see yourself dwelling permanently with Me. When you need a decision, spend time with Me seeing yourself with Me in My secret place. Then the answers will come. There is no reason to be deceived on this earth. My throne is for ALL who wish to be near Me. My resources are unlimited. I love My children, I want them to dwell with Me in heart and mind. Your flesh may be on this earth, but you can permanently dwell with Me in heart and mind while walking this earth. I am yours. Won’t you be mine? Dwell with Me today and everyday. I love you and long to be with you. I created a garden for My people which was ruined because they chose not to be happy with dwelling in My presence. I have a garden for you. I have an Eden for everyone. Won’t you come and live with Me? No need to seek Me for wisdom when you dwell in My secret place, because you will automatically have it as you need it. Come to Me today. Choose to dwell with Me permanently. Choose life. Your destiny, you birthing Isaac’s instead of Ishmael’s is based entirely on your walk with Me. Isaac’s come out of you dwelling with Me. Only good can come out of you dwelling in My secret place. Does a TV show take you out of My secret place? Then don’t watch it. Does a phone call take you out of My secret place? Then don’t talk to that person. Let go of anything in your life that would fight to take you out of My secret place. Cherish My presence over everything else in life and I will bless you. Life will go right for you. You will have unlimited choices and wisdom that glorify Me. Life will be full of joy and peace. Choose Me.”

Day Four-Chasing Ishmael

2012-02-04T19:18:00.001-08:00

Teach me your way, LORD; lead me in a straight path  because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations. I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Psalm 27:11-13 NIV

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life;  And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever. Psalm 23:6 NKJV

“Is mercy and goodness following you? Command it to be so. Expect goodness and mercy to follow you around. Negative thoughts are not My will for believers. It is not My will you dwell on thoughts that produce unkind, unfruitful remarks, comments, complaints and heart cries. What do you think about? My goodness and mercy? Today take inventory of your thought life. If the thought does not produce righteousness, if it doesn’t bring joy, peace and love, then take that thought captive and submit it to me. Your thoughts are what ultimately bring to fruition successful living. On the next few pages, write down your main thought patterns and examine them. Do they line up with My word? Do they bring goodness and mercy or death and destruction? What you dwell on will come to pass. I have called My people to see goodness in the land of the living. To be productive with joy and peace. Not negative, bitter and full of contempt. Live the way I have called you to live, and you will see a greater measure of success is every area of your life. But it starts with your thought life. Ishmael started as a thought in Sarah’s mind. That thought not examined to see if it lined up with My commands, caused years of pain and an entire nation to rise against My church. How many Ishmael’s in your life began with a single thought?”

Scriptures to study:

for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, and we are ready to punish all disobedience, whenever your obedience is complete. 2 Corinthians 10:4-7 NASB

Day Three-Chasing Ishmael

2012-02-03T10:55:00.000-08:00

*This is Day Three of the 60 day devotional called "Chasing Ishmael" I am spending time in prayer with God, hearing from Him and writing down what He speaks to my spirit. The purpose of this is to get rid of all "Ishmael's" that may be operating in your life.

For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it [a harvest of fruit which consists in righteousness--in conformity to God's will in purpose, thought, and action, resulting in right living and right standing with God]. So then, brace up and reinvigorate and set right your slackened and weakened and drooping hands and strengthen your feeble and palsied and tottering knees, And cut through and make firm and plain and smooth, straight paths for your feet [yes, make them safe and upright and happy paths that go in the right direction], so that the lame and halting [limbs] may not be put out of joint, but rather may be cured. Hebrews 12:11-13 AMP

“No discipline is joyous when done through Me, but it will produce the fruit of righteousness and keep you on the path I have for you. However, if you refuse the path of discipline, in the end you will not fulfill the perfect plan I have for you. Do you endure discipline in other areas of your life? Then have a good attitude when I care about you enough to discipline you. Endure like a good soldier, the temporary pain you may feel will produce fruit for my Kingdom. There is a pruning process that My people must go through, and sometimes that hurts. When you are born with, and line yourself with unholy attitudes, wrong ways of thinking and insist on adopting a culture around you that doesn’t serve Me, then I must take you through a process so your life lines up with My word. My word says that you work out your own salvation through fear and trembling (Phil 2:12). This does not mean My Son did not finish the work of salvation, it means your walk with Me is a continuous work bringing you towards the goal of a spotless bride. A season of discipline is coming your way, when it does, embrace it and allow My Holy Spirit to do a perfect work. Spend time with Me today asking Me to make corrections in your life concerning attitudes, belief systems, ideals, and cultural concepts.”

Scriptures to Study:

And the [instructions] which you have heard from me along with many witnesses, transmit and entrust [as a deposit] to reliable and faithful men who will be competent and qualified to teach others also.Take [with me] your share of the hardships and suffering [which you are called to endure] as a good (first-class) soldier of Christ Jesus.No soldier when in service gets entangled in the enterprises of [civilian] life; his aim is to satisfy and please the one who enlisted him. 2 Timothy 2:2-4 AMP

Therefore, my dear ones, as you have always obeyed [my suggestions], so now, not only [with the enthusiasm you would show] in my presence but much more because I am absent, work out (cultivate, carry out to the goal, and fully complete) your own salvation with reverence and awe and trembling (self-distrust, with serious caution, tenderness of conscience, watchfulness against temptation, timidly shrinking from whatever might offend God and discredit the name of Christ). [Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight. Philippians 2:12-13 AMP

Day Two-Chasing Ishmael

2012-02-02T11:43:00.001-08:00

It was by faith that Abraham offered Isaac as a sacrifice when God was testing him. Abraham, who had received God’s promises, was ready to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, even though God had told him, “Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted.” Abraham reasoned that if Isaac died, God was able to bring him back to life again. And in a sense, Abraham did receive his son back from the dead. It was by faith that Isaac promised blessings for the future to his sons, Jacob and Esau. Hebrews 11:17-20 NLT

“Many people think they are offering up Isaac to Me, when in reality they are giving Me Ishmael. They go on with their own plans and ask Me to reward them accordingly. Then they balk when the reward never comes. I said I was a rewarder of those who diligently seek Me (Hebrews 11:6). Not a rewarder of those who seek their own purpose. Man’s ways are NOT My ways. All these charities, all these fundraisers, whose plans are they? Are they really producing everlasting life? My Kingdom, My gospel, should lead every non-profit/ministry effort. Food, shelter, clothing given away should only come second to this. Ask Me today to show you where you have been offering Me Ishmael instead of Isaac and I will.”

Scriptures to study:

But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.Hebrews 11:6 NKJV

By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.Matthew 7:16-20 NIV

Day One- Chasing Ishmael

2012-02-01T05:13:00.001-08:00

*This is Day One of the 60 day devotional called "Chasing Ishmael" I am spending time in prayer with God, hearing from Him and writing down what He speaks to my spirit. The purpose of this is to get rid of all "Ishmael's" that may be operating in your life.

This morning the Lord led me to these two sections of scriptures, then He spoke to my spirit:

And He spared not the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a preacher of righteousness, with seven other persons, when He brought a flood upon the world of ungodly [people].And He condemned to ruin and extinction the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, reducing them to ashes [and thus] set them forth as an example to those who would be ungodly; And He rescued righteous Lot, greatly worn out and distressed by the wanton ways of the ungodly and lawless--For that just man, living [there] among them, tortured his righteous soul every day with what he saw and heard of [their] unlawful and wicked deeds--2 Peter 2:5-8 AMP

[Prompted] by faith Noah, being forewarned by God concerning events of which as yet there was no visible sign, took heed and diligently and reverently constructed and prepared an ark for the deliverance of his own family. By this [his faith which relied on God] he passed judgment and sentence on the world's unbelief and became an heir and possessor of righteousness (that relation of being right into which God puts the person who has faith).[Urged on] by faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed and went forth to a place which he was destined to receive as an inheritance; and he went, although he did not know or trouble his mind about where he was to go.[Prompted] by faith he dwelt as a temporary resident in the land which was designated in the promise [of God, though he was like a stranger] in a strange country, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, fellow heirs with him of the same promise .For he was [waiting expectantly and confidently] looking forward to the city which has fixed and firm foundations, whose Architect and Builder is God. Because of faith also Sarah herself received physical power to conceive a child, even when she was long past the age for it, because she considered [God] Who had given her the promise to be reliable and trustworthy and true to His word. Hebrews 11:7-11 AMP

“Like a flood is when My Son is coming. Like a thief in the night he will bring back with him everyone who is serving him. And when he does, it will be too late. All through the Bible I have foreshadowed My Son’s return. I haven’t revealed all details in My Word because it is meant to be a mystery to all mankind. The Day of My Son’s return is to be a mystery so that people cannot prepare the day of, but are prompted to be constantly ready. Don’t delay in getting ready, for I AM returning. Teach bible studies, witness for Me, spread the gospel for the time is short and repentance is a MUST to enter into My kingdom. Witness to your family members, witness to your friends, witness to your coworkers, and those in your neighborhood. If you don’t, when you get to heaven you will regret not telling more people about My glorious name. About My Son who gave it all so we could be together. I love you with an everlasting love. Not like the world loves do I love you. Love others, the time is short. Love others with My word, preaching, praying, prophesying, encouraging others to serve My Son Jesus Christ.

I have called most people to some form of ministry preaching the gospel. It may not look like your current culture’s version of ministry where you stand on a stage and preach, but MOST of my people are called in to some form of ministry. Only in rare circumstances will I not call a believer into ministry. There is a call on your life. Seek Me for direction. Seek Me today for the direction I have called you to go. If you do not have some form of ministry operating in your life, you are more than likely OUT of My perfect will. Ask Me today what ministry I have for you and I will tell you. Ask Me what I have called you to do to promote My gospel and I will reveal it to you. Remember the time is short and at the appointed time, He will return.”

Chasing Ishmael

2012-01-23T11:20:00.001-08:00

On February 1, 2012 I will be starting a 60 day devotional called "Chasing Ishmael" which I will publish on my biblical finances blog daily, and then publish in a book after the 60 days is over. It is to teach Christians how to know if something they are doing, are about to do, is in the will of God. Here is the beginning of the book:

Making Decisions

FIrst the Lord led me to these scriptures:

BRETHREN, IF any person is overtaken in misconduct or sin of any sort, you who are spiritual [who are responsive to and controlled by the Spirit] should set him right and restore and reinstate him, without any sense of superiority and with all gentleness, keeping an attentive eye on yourself, lest you should be tempted also.Bear (endure, carry) one another's burdens and [a]troublesome moral faults, and in this way fulfill and observe perfectly the law of Christ (the Messiah) and complete [b]what is lacking [in your obedience to it].For if any person thinks himself to be somebody [too important to condescend to shoulder another's load] when he is nobody [of superiority except in his own estimation], he deceives and deludes and cheats himself. Galatians 6:1-3 AMP

Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience.But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing. James 1:3-4 AMP

After I read the scriptures, the Holy Spirit spoke this to my spirit:

“Sometimes I call people to do something, but it is hard going because I am trying to do a perfect work in them. Hitting “stops” is not always an indicator that I didn’t call them to the work. Seek Me for an answer to how you get past the block and I will show you.”

Then the Lord led me to this scripture:

Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh. James 3:12 NASB

After I read the scripture, the Holy Spirit spoke this to my spirit:

“You cannot make good come out of evil. If it was never My plan, salt water will eventually spill out. That is how it is with marriages. If someone gets married without My plan-salt water, not spring water will come forth. Even if both are Christians. My Word says what Satan meant for evil I can turn around for good (Genesis 50:20). But when you (not Satan) start with an evil plan, you will get evil results. Manipulation is the #1 way My people fail. They try to manipulate Me and the situation to get the results they want. Lying and cheating are never My will. Abraham cheated on his wife Sarah and Ishmael was born. No matter what Kings did in the Old Testament (referring to multiple wives/concubines) it was always My will for a man to only have one wife.”

Link to Biblical Finances Blog

Love Growing Cold

2011-12-15T03:46:00.000-08:00

And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other. And many false prophets will appear and will deceive many people. Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then the end will come. Matthew 24:10-14 NLT

Has your love grown cold? Do you keep looking around at all the sin running rampant among the church and you've given up hope of ever finding a Godly match? Are you sick to your stomach wondering when Christians are going to "straighten up" and walk holy before the Lord?

Me too! Right now I'm temporarily living in a city where sin runs rampant. Churches everywhere waving the rainbow flag letting homosexuals know that it is "ok to be gay." And many of the church leaders blatantly flaunt their homosexuality, even though the NEW TESTAMENT is very clear that anyone in leadership is to the be the husband of ONE WIFE (1 Timothy 3:2). And if you say anything about it...you're considered a "hater."

But we know that the Law is good, if one uses it lawfully, realizing the fact that law is not made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers and immoral men and homosexuals and kidnappers and liars and perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound teaching, according to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, with which I have been entrusted. 1 Timothy 1:8

Alcoholism is at an all time high around here and most people seem down right sour. They also use "Jesus Christ" as a cuss word constantly and complain nonstop. Even the handful of Spirit filled Christians are so carnal it is hard to relate. I felt myself growing weary...

Then in prayer, the Lord led me to Matthew 24:10 Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold. Then He said. "When sin is allowed to run rampant, hearts grow cold. Ask me to remove the coldness off of your heart."

Are you single and allowing sin to run rampant in your life? Then stop it! Are you single, been walking in purity and frustrated you will never find a mate who walks in purity too? Then ask God to remove the coldness off of your heart from sin running rampant in your land. And I highly recommend that if you attend a church where leadership and many singles are in sexual sin without remorse, then leave the church. You do not want to be part of a church body where sin is allowed to run rampant. Your home church should be a place of safety, a place of refuge where you can have a loving family and be a vital part of the body of Christ.

The Spirit of Prostitution

2011-12-10T10:24:00.000-08:00

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. 1 Corinthians 6:15-17

For about a month, I really struggled with thoughts of adultery. This was after ten wonderful years of marriage to my husband Lucas. Some of his colleagues were attractive, and one even made a blatant pass at me, which I ignored. However, I enjoyed the flattering attention, and I'm pretty sure if I responded favorably, they would have taken me up on my offer. I know enough to flee sexual sin and how to stay out of the fire. Which I did, without a second thought. However, something inside of me really did enjoy the male attention and I secretly looked forward to it. And this bothered me tremendously because I knew it was wrong. I am married, and some of these men were too. Plus, nothing inside of you should be attracted to adultery and as far as I’m concerned, flirtation with a married man is SINFUL.

For several weeks these certain men keep coming to my mind like they were haunting me. And I kept rebuking the thoughts, praying, asking God to forgive me, but it was a relentless battle. Finally, in prayer, the Lord spoke this to me:

"The spirit of prostitution is what you are dealing with, anytime anyone has sex outside of wedlock the spirit of prostitution gets in." Then He led me to Proverbs 7:

And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house, In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night: And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart. (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.)So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him,I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows.Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee.I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves.For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey:He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed.With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks;

23 Till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life.

When I got to verse 23 he said. "Ask Me to remove the dart out of your liver" And after I prayed, I actually felt the Spirit of the Lord move and the Holy Spirit say. "The dart is now gone." And just so you know, Lucas and I did not have sex before marriage. In fact, we were engaged for three weeks before we kissed. We kept it holy. But, before we were Christians and before we knew each other, we had been with other people.

Do NOT shrink back!

2011-12-05T07:43:00.000-08:00

For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.FOR YET IN A VERY LITTLE WHILE, HE WHO IS COMING WILL COME, AND WILL NOT DELAY. BUT MY RIGHTEOUS ONE SHALL LIVE BY FAITH;AND IF HE SHRINKS BACK, MY SOUL HAS NO PLEASURE IN HIM.But we are not of those who shrink back to destruction, but of those who have faith to the preserving of the soul. Hebrews 10:36-39 NASB

Do NOT shrink back! Many singles shrink back in fear when the rubber meets the road on getting hitched. They make excuses filled with fear of why they cannot do something to meet someone, or they hide behind man made doctrines like "courtship" or "Internet dating is evil."

God is a Spirit and He speaks to our spirits. If you know in your heart that it is time for marriage, then God has someone for you. So please don't lay down and die. Get out there and get married. If you read all of Hebrews 10, you will see that Christians were encouraged to MOVE FORWARD. And to LIVE BY FAITH. In fact, God says IF HE SHRINKS BACK, MY SOUL HAS NO PLEASURE IN HIM.

Ask yourself, are YOU shrinking back? Do you know in your heart it is time for marriage, yet you fearfully allow yourself not to move forward? Are you hiding behind excuses like "It's not God's timing." or "I'm too busy to put time and serious effort into dating."

Look lazy bones, the singles who sit around, self absorbed, waiting for "the one" to just pop into their lives and do all the work of being romantic are way too into themselves. Who do you think you are anyway? A relationship is two sided. Why should you expect someone to show up and revolve themselves around your schedule and do romantically what you want them to do? That's not love, that's narcissism. And unfortunately, that's what I've seen many times with Christian singles. And worse, they tag a Christian sentiment along with the self centered behavior like "Well, I heard you will meet someone when you're not even looking." Who the heck said that anyway? It was probably Satan, since that ideology isn't bearing any decent fruit.

Christian singles, please, get over yourself! Stop blaming God for thinking the world revolves around you and go meet the spouse God has for you. Put in the effort it takes to have a quality romantic relationship. They don't grow on trees! They have to be cultivated and based on biblical principles to work.

Eternal Bliss

2011-10-08T14:47:00.000-07:00

Eternal Bliss? Is it real?

I believe so! In fact, I believe that is what I have with my husband. He tells me he loves me on a daily basis, he kisses me everyday, we pray together everyday. He sends me text messages throughout the day. He has NEVER, NOT ONCE called me a bad name.

Commitment. What is your commitment to Christ? We pray and ask God to send us a mate, but do we commit ourselves to His will and His way? Read the words of Jesus Christ out loud:

But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! John 15:7

Did you notice that asking God for ANYTHING you want is linked to you remaining IN Jesus and HIS words REMAINING in you?

Do you know how many people have I prayed with and taught warning them to obey God's word concerning not marrying unbelievers and/or having sex out of wedlock, yet they still do so? A LOT! So much so it is discouraging and sometimes I've wondered why I teach Where's my mate? at all. These same people with in a year or so of marrying the wrong person are MISERABLE and/or they are living half the life they could have. And the whole time making excuses that this is somehow God's will for their lives. And do you know what I think? I think they will stand before God in greater judgement because they KNEW the truth and CHOSE to DISOBEY God KNOWINGLY! And there is New Testament scripture to back up my belief too:

For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a terrifying expectation of judgment and THE FURY OF A FIRE WHICH WILL CONSUME THE ADVERSARIES. Hebrews 10:25-27 NASB

And when people escape from the wickedness of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and then get tangled up and enslaved by sin again, they are worse off than before.It would be better if they had never known the way to righteousness than to know it and then reject the command they were given to live a holy life. They prove the truth of this proverb: “A dog returns to its vomit.” And another says, “A washed pig returns to the mud.” 2 Peter 2:20-22 NLT

Did you get what those scriptures were saying? And they were written to BELIEVERS not to UNBELIEVERS!

If God was leading you romantically to a certain person, he would never lead you to another person who wasn't obeying God's word. Why would God go against his own word? Am I being judgemental? No, I'm telling you to obey God's word. Listen, we can pray our heads off everyday about a person being "the one" but if the relationship does not line up with God's word, then you already have your answer.

If you are IN Jesus Christ and Jesus' words are REMAINING in you, then you will not attract an unhealthy relationship. Dating a person who isn't following Jesus Christ will be repulsive to you. Someone trying to touch you inappropriately before marriage will be disgusting to you. Why? Because you will have God's word IN you!

So if you want your prayers about a mate answered, then get IN Jesus Christ and get his word IN you. Dig out scriptures concerning relationships and marriage. Meditate on them until you get them deep in your heart! That's what I did. I bought a bible and I took a highlighter and highlighted scriptures that dealt with relationships and what God wanted. I STUDIED those scriptures. When I went on dates, I knew VERY quickly within a date or two if that man was the one or not. I was IN Jesus Christ and I had his word IN me. And when I prayed about a mate, I got an answer!

What do women write on their mate list? What do men write on their mate list?

2011-08-18T09:13:00.000-07:00

As you can imagine, I get to see quite a few lists written out. And most of you want the same characteristics. Women always want a man who is serving Jesus with their whole heart and are not trapped in sexual sin. They also don't like effeminate men.

Here are the top 8 traits on a woman's mate list:

1. Godly man
2. not in sexual sin or a "player"
3. has a good job
4. will love me like Christ loves the church
5. acts like a man, not wimpy, not a mamma's boy
6. serve together in ministry
7. affectionate
8. attractive

Then they usually write things such as like to travel or snorkel or some other activity that they like to do so they can do it together. Or sometimes they write specifics about what line of work they either want their spouse to be in, or not to be in. Women who are in their late 30's and older usually want the man to be very financially stable and already own a house and have a 401K. And a women's idea of "attractive" means attractive to them, not necessarily "GQ" attractive. A woman likes a man who is "on fire" for Jesus Christ and doesn't capitulate to the world's demands. A lady in Italy emailed me her list a couple of days ago and one of the traits she listed was: Manly (no sissy boy) So men, don't be a wimp in your walk with Christ! Women don't like it!

Here are the top 8 traits on a man's list:

1. Christian
2. loyal
3. good looking
4. likes sports (or camping or biking or some other outdoorsy activity)
5. Cooks
6. Not manipulative or conniving/ doesn't play "head games"
7. Mom likes her
8. Doesn't complain, not a drama queen.

Women, men are simple creatures. I assure you, they do not think like us when it comes to relationships! They like to keep things simple, and peaceful. They do not like it when they feel you are manipulating them and that is the biggest complaint they have (and you thought it was your big butt or wide hips!). And yes, they love a home cooked meal! I know, it sounds 1950's, but it is a high priority on a lot of men's lists. Remember, I'm just reporting what they've been writing down! Men also really want to know you have their back and are not complaining about them to your friends or family. Loyalty is really big to a man. It is big to women too, but in different areas. Men want to know you always have their back. Women tend to have girlfriends they can run into the arms of when they have a problem. And talk about it and share until the problem is resolved. However, men typically retreat into themselves and mull over the problem in their heads. When they are ready to share, it is you they run to. And they want to know you support them.

Questions? Comments? Post them!

Doubts about Marriage

2011-08-16T12:36:00.000-07:00

Are you in a romantic relationship and having doubts? Is there an inner tug and a distinct impression that you are doing the wrong thing? Are you trying to push away a nagging doubt?

When God has called you to marry someone, you will be filled with inner peace and a knowing you are in the will of God. If you do not have this peace, and are suffering with confusion, then the relationship is not from God. If you move forward in the relationship out of God's will it will not go well for you.

I don't know who this word is for, but hopefully whoever you are, you will read this post and repent. Get the mate God has for you and stop fooling around with the wrong person.

Read the following scriptures out loud and then go to my biblical finances blog and read today's post about a failsafe way to hear from God. Biblical Finances Blog Link

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. You have heard Me say to you, ‘I am going away and coming back to you.’ If you loved Me, you would rejoice because I said, ‘I am going to the Father,’ for My Father is greater than I. “And now I have told you before it comes, that when it does come to pass, you may believe. John 14:27-29 NKJV

And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always]. Colossians 3:15 AMP

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] John 16:33 AMP

What is keeping Christian mates from recognizing each other?

2011-08-11T16:48:00.000-07:00

What keeps Christian mate matches from recognizing each other?

I have been praying and seeking God as to what is going on with this! There are so many good Christian singles out there sincerely seeking God for a mate, yet many times they have a hard time finding each other! Many singles feel isolated and often wonder if God has anyone for them. Have they made too many mistakes? Are they just not mature enough yet? Etc. Etc.

Yesterday I really begin to pray and ask God to show me what the root cause of this phenomena was. I had witnessed singles miss the person God had for them time and time again! I knew there was no reason in the natural for this, so it had to be something spiritual. This is what the Holy Spirit spoke to me as an answer:

"When someone succumbs to a spirit of Religion and follows that instead of my Holy Spirit it blinds them in areas. Including receiving their mate. When a person succumbs to the religious doctrine of the age they live in or the church they attend, they will always have a hard time receiving a mate from me."

When the Holy Spirit told me this, I wasn't that shocked. I have seen this over and over, including when God was bringing Luke and I together. However, I did think God was going to give me a different answer. I was expecting to learn about a new principality or something!

How easy is it to succumb to a spirit of Religion? Very easy! I've done in numerous times myself! In fact, I don't know one church out there who is being led by the Holy Spirit in every area.

When I first surrendered my life to Christ, I hopped on the Charismatic train and drank every drop of Kool-Aid. I came from atheism so I never studied the bible and whatever any Spirit filled Preacher taught... I believed...and gave them my money! As you can imagine, after I learned to start studying the bible on my own, I got quite a wake up call, and was very hurt from all the bad doctrine. Not trying to knock preachers, most try really really hard to hear from God and teach correctly. And I am VERY grateful for them. But usually bad doctrine is passed down from generation to generation and if anyone questions it they are labeled a heretic.

Anyway, God has already given me a revelation about the the Spirit of Religion and how to get free from it. I published it in Recognizing Religion. However, until the Holy Spirit revealed to me it was this Spirit that was keeping singles from getting married, I didn't see it as clearly. Since I've already written a teaching on the Spirit of Religion, if you want the book, email me and I will email you the manuscript Recognizing Religion for free from google docs. BethanyKScanlon@gmail.com

You are welcome to email me privately with your questions and I will do my best to answer them scripturally and led by the Holy Spirit:)

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study Session 5

2011-06-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study

Session 5 June 25, 2011

What does the bible say about sex before marriage?

Hebrew—zanah, zaw-naw’; adultery, fornication, homosexuality, incest, pedophile, and idolatry.

Greek—porneia, por-ni’-ah; adultery, fornication, homosexuality, incest, pedophile, and idolatry.

Away then with sinful, earthly things; deaden the evil desires lurking within you; have nothing to do with sexual sin, impurity, lust and shameful desires; don’t worship the good things of life, for that is idolatry. God’s terrible anger is upon those who do such things. Colossians 3:5-6 (TLB)

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4

Do you not know that the unrighteous and the wrongdoers will not inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived (misled): neither the impure and immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor those who participate in homosexuality, Nor cheats (swindlers and thieves), nor greedy graspers, nor drunkards, nor foulmouthed revilers and slanderers, nor extortioners and robbers will inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (AMP)

Lay hands suddenly on no man, neither be partaker of other men’s sins: keep thyself pure. 1 Timothy 5:22

What are Strongholds?

We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. And after you have become fully obedient, we will punish everyone who remains disobedient.2 Corinthians 10:4-6

4 Identifying Marks of a stronghold

1.) Refuse to surrender to God in that area of your life.

2.) Refuse to listen to reason –unreasonable against all common sense

3.) Filled with fear in that area-basis for all strongholds is fear

4.) The stronghold is always a lie

5 Most common strongholds on Singles

1.) Parent’s Approval (or peers etc.) “I won’t get my parent’s approval on this person.”

2.) Unable to commit-doubleminded “Do I really want to get married?’

3.) Believe they are physically unattractive

4.) Believe they have too much baggage (Divorced, been through bankruptcy, children etc.)

5.) Believe they are un-loveable “No one could possibly want me!”

How to get rid of a stronghold

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16 NIV

1.) Identify the stronghold- Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you the lie.

2.) Confess the stronghold. Ask God to forgive you for believing that lie.

3.) Ask God to remove the stronghold off of you immediately.

4.) Confess what the truth is.

Homework: Read the testimonies on page in the bible study. Finish chapter 8 and any back homework.

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study Session 4

2011-06-15T04:31:00.001-07:00

20 Biblical Signposts the Lord sent the person to you for the purpose of marriage:

1. Do they put God first in action and not just words?

Matthew 7:15,15 (NLT) “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?

2. Do they do the things they say they are going to do? Do their actions line up with their words?

Romans 1:28-32(NLT) Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy.

He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death." Revelations 21:6-8 (NIV)

3. How do they treat singles of the opposite gender who they would not consider dating? This is especially true for men who are visually stimulated. How does he treat women who he thinks are ugly? How does she treat men who are obviously financially wealthy?

Matthew 22:37-39(NLT) Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

4. Watch what they laugh at. Do they laugh at things they shouldn’t find funny?

Proverbs 14:9 Fools make a mock at sin: but among the righteous there is favour.

5. Do they walk in holiness and refuse to be involved with you sexually until after the wedding?

1 Thessalonians 4:3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:

6. Do they only attend church to impress you?

Hebrews 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

7. Who are their best friends? I am not talking about the people they minister to, are aquatinted with, or their blood relatives. I am talking about their close friends with whom they share themselves. Do they avoid deep relationships with godly friends or are they afraid of accountability?

1 Corinthians 15:33 (NLT) Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”

8. Have they been faithfully staying out of harmful behavior (sexual sin, excessive amounts of alcohol, drugs, stealing, lying, witchcraft such as horoscopes, Ouija boards, etc.) or do they only go for a season and then fall back into old and destructive habits?

James 1:8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

9. Do they passionately pursue what they believe the Lord has called them to do?

Proverbs 29:18 Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.

10. Do they pursue money, fame, or success or do they seek after the Lord? How do they handle finances?

Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

11. God will put supernatural love in that person’s heart for you, and you for them.

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:19-23 (NLT)

12. Your relationship together will bear fruit for the Kingdom of God.

James 3:17(NASB) But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.

John 15:4-6 (KJV) Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.

13. There will be a “pruning off” and a changing of relationships.

Matthew 19:5-6(KJV) And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Mark 10:6-8(KJV) But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

14. There will be “wear and tear” on the relationship because two lives are beginning to blend together.

Prov 14:4 Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox.

15. There will be a battle in the spirit realm.

Ephesians 6:11-13(KJV) Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

John 10:10 (KJV) The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

16. God will build the relationship on friendship

Amos 3:3 (KJV) Can two walk together unless they be agreed?

17. Someone God Sends won’t be abusive

Proverbs 22:24-25 (AMP) Make no friendships with a man given to anger, and with a wrathful man do not associate, Lest you learn his ways and get yourself into a snare.

Proverbs 16:29 (NLT) Violent people mislead their companions, leading them down a harmful path.

18. They will have a gentle nature towards the Lord

If ye love me, keep my commandments. And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever. John 14:15-16 (KJV)

God will be first in their life and they will not want to oppose Him. This doesn’t mean someone won’t make mistakes or have perfect doctrine, it means they will be sensitive to the Lord’s heart. They care about what God wants and desires. It is a priority to them.

19. There will be a season of grace upon the relationship

Zechariah 4:6b (NLT) It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.

20. God’s purifying fire will be upon the relationship

Ecc 4:10-12 (KJV) For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls. For he has no one to help him up. Again if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not easily broken.

Homework: Chapter 8, Chapter 7 in groups tonight.

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study Session 3

2011-06-07T09:36:00.000-07:00

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study

Session 3 June 4, 2011

Opening Prayer:

Father God, In the name of your son Jesus Christ, I ask that you make my heart fallow ground right now in the area of loving You and loving others. Fill me with Your presence and help me learn Your ways. As Bethany reads the scriptures tonight out loud, I ask that they are buried deep in my heart and produce a hundred fold harvest. Amen

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless. When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. 1 Corinthians 13:1-12 NLT

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:36-40 NIV

We love Him, because He first loved us. If anyone says, I love God, and hates (detests, abominates) his brother [in Christ], he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, Whom he has not seen. And this command (charge, order, injunction) we have from Him: that he who loves God shall love his brother [believer] also.1 John 4:19-21 AMP

Love is a choice. “Feelings” will follow that choice.

Love is treating someone with the same respect that you want to be treated with.

Words of Jesus Christ: “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:12 NLT

Love is obeying Jesus Christ’s commands in the bible

Words of Jesus Christ: “If you love me, obey my commandments. John 14:15 NLT

What love is not: Toleration of abuse or Submission to Sin (It is not your job to change an abuser through a romantic relationship)

Make no friendships with a man given to anger, and with a wrathful man do not associate, Lest you learn his ways and get yourself into a snare. Proverbs 22:24-25 AMP

Violent people mislead their companions, leading them down a harmful path. Proverbs 16:29

Violent (Greek) chamac ) to wrong, do violence to, treat violently, of physical and/and or ethical wrong.

BLESSED (HAPPY, fortunate, prosperous, and enviable) is the man who walks and lives not in the counsel of the ungodly [following their advice, their plans and purposes], nor stands [submissive and inactive] in the path where sinners walk, nor sits down [to relax and rest] where the scornful [and the mockers] gather. Psalm 1:1 AMP

When they persecute you in one town [that is, pursue you in a manner that would injure you and cause you to suffer because of your belief], flee to another town; for truly I tell you, you will not have gone through all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes. Matthew 10:23

Matthew 12:14-15 But the Pharisees went out and held a consultation against Him, how they might do away with Him. But being aware of this, Jesus went away from there. And many people joined and accompanied Him, and He cured all of them.

12 Signs of an Abuser

They are full of biting remarks “You’re such a #@$%^!”

Blame their bad behavior on you or someone else “If you weren’t so….I wouldn’t be like this”

They are constantly making excuses for their bad behavior and/or you are making excuses for their bad behavior.

Tell you they are going to change but as soon as they are back in your good graces they repeat the bad behavior

Make you feel like you are lucky to have them and you begin to believe that you are

They may have a bad habit that affects the family like uncontrolled gambling or spending, stealing, lying, alcoholism, pornography and/or adultery or drugs. They call you judgmental if you try to confront their behavior.

They are violent in speech and/or physically and/or sexually.

You feel like you are on a roller coaster ride with the person’s mood swings.

You can’t fully “be yourself” in front of them because you don’t feel truly accepted for who you are. Sometimes you wear a mask. You "walk on eggshells"

They try to control your environment. I.E. They don’t like you attending bible study or going to the movies with one of your friends.

Very judgmental and critical, sometimes think people are “out to get them”

They cause chaos and/or pick fights and/or find ways to make sure attention is centered around them.

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; Isaiah 61

Closing Prayer:

Father God, Your Word says that Jesus Christ came to bind up the brokenhearted. I ask that your son Jesus Christ would bind up my heart right now everywhere it has been broken. AMEN

HOMEWORK: Chapter 6 in Workbook. If you have missed the other sessions, your homework is chapters 1-4 plus chapter 6. Chapter 5 in Groups tonight.

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study Session 2

2011-05-31T11:07:00.000-07:00

* ONLY 4 SESSIONS LEFT* Session 3 is at my house this Saturday night! Email for directions bethanykscanlon@gmail.com

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study

Session 2 May 28, 2011

When I was praying for a mate, I was relentless! I prayed about it EVERYDAY until Luke and I were engaged. The Lord Jesus Christ tells us to be relentless in prayer:

Now He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart, saying, "In a certain city there was a judge who did not fear God and did not respect man. "There was a widow in that city, and she kept coming to him, saying, 'Give me legal protection from my opponent.' "For a while he was unwilling; but afterward he said to himself, 'Even though I do not fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow bothers me, I will give her legal protection, otherwise by continually coming she will wear me out.'" And the Lord said, "Hear what the unrighteous judge said; now, will not God bring about justice for His elect who cry to Him day and night, and will He delay long over them? "I tell you that He will bring about justice for them quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?" Luke 18:1-8 NASB

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5 NLT

Below in Ephesians 3:20, God works THROUGH us to do above all that we dare ask or think. We have to be determined on a DAILY basis to change, get rid of strongholds, pursue healing, renew our minds with God's word etc.

Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]—Ephesians 3:20 AMP

“Again I sayto you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:19-20 NKJV

Jesus was very clear that asking in his name produces results. However, in the Greek, the word ask is aiteō and it means beg, call for, crave, desire, and require. You need to be persistent and determined in your asking!

How to Date

1.) Honesty (John 3:21)

2.) Purity (1 Corinthians 6:18)

3.) Dress appropriately (1 Timothy 2:9)

4.) Let your intentions be known upfront (1 Thess 4:6)

5.) Don’t play games!

6.) Walk in love (1 Corinthians 13:1-13)

7.) Respect Boundaries

8.) Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you (Galatians 5:16)

9.) Don’t give away your heart until the marriage altar (Proverbs 4:23)

10.) Research their background

Homework: Chapter 4 in workbook. Ask God everyday what you want Him to do for you, and remind Him of the covenants He has on your life including a MATE!

Want to Find Your Mate? Bible Study Session 1

2011-05-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

I taught session 1 of Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study at my house this past Saturday. For those of you who were unable to attend, I am publishing the notes below. Don't forget to read the instructions in the Homework. If you can, please attend this upcoming Saturday!! Email me if you need directions! bethanykscanlon@gmail.com

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study

Session 1 May 21, 2011

The Mate List

If you read Where's my mate? then you know I wrote a 3 page list of what I wanted in a mate. This list was thorough. It described physically, mentally, spiritually and personality wise what I wanted in a husband. Down to the age of two years older than me. I make lists for everything I want. I spend time with God and ask Him to reveal to me scriptures for the promise I am believing him for. And according to Mark 4, I sow the word of God for the promise. I didn't just make a list for a husband, but for a house, furniture, jobs etc. And if I follow the principles in Mark 4 about sowing the word of God, what I am believing God for ALWAYS comes to pass.

I've had people tell me I'm "boxing God in" by writing lists, but that is unscriptural. Jesus Christ, the apostles, King David and others in the bible prayed SPECIFICALLY for what they wanted.

But ye have an unction from the Holy One, and ye know all things. 1 John 2:20 KJV

Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Psalm 37:4 KJV

Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it! John 14:4 NLT

Why a list?

1.) God calls us to pray specific prayers! John 15:5 Jesus & the Apostles prayed specific prayers!

2.) Write down the vision and make it plain. Habakkuk 2:1-2 AMP

3.) A list prevents you from getting off course.

4.) Demonstrates God’s power when it comes to pass

5.) A list keeps you from dating the wrong people!

#1 requirement on Mate list: Someone who follows Jesus Christ and acts like it!

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 NASB

When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believeryet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people. 1 Corinthians 5:9-11 NLT

Sowing God’s Word

Give attention to this! Behold, a sower went out to sow. And as he was sowing, some seed fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Other seed [of the same kind] fell on ground full of rocks, where it had not much soil; and at once it sprang up, because it had no depth of soil; And when the sun came up, it was scorched, and because it had not taken root, it withered away. Other seed [of the same kind] fell among thorn plants, and the thistles grew and pressed together and utterly choked and suffocated it, and it yielded no grain. And other seed [of the same kind] fell into good (well-adapted) soil and brought forth grain, growing up and increasing, and yielded up to thirty times as much, and sixty times as much, and even a hundred times as much as had been sown. And He said, He who has ears to hear, let him be hearing [and let him consider, and comprehend].And as soon as He was alone, those who were around Him, with the Twelve [apostles], began to ask Him about the parables.

And He said to them, To you has been entrusted the mystery of the kingdom of God [that is,the secret counsels of God which are hidden from the ungodly]; but for those outside [of our circle] everything becomes a parable, In order that they may [indeed] look and look but not see and perceive, and may hear and hear but not grasp and comprehend, lest haply they should turn again, and it [their willful rejection of the truth] should be forgiven them. And He said to them, Do you not discern and understand this parable? How then is it possible for you to discern and understand all the parables.

The sower sows the Word. The ones along the path are those who have the Word sown [in their hearts], but when they hear, Satan comes at once and [by force] takes away the message which is sown in them. And in the same way the ones sown upon stony ground are those who, when they hear the Word, at once receive and accept and welcome it with joy; And they have no real root in themselves, and so they endure for a little while; then when trouble or persecution arises on account of the Word, they immediately are offended (become displeased, indignant, resentful) and they stumble and fall away. And the ones sown among the thorns are others who hear the Word; Then the cares and anxieties of the world and distractions of the age, and the pleasure and delight and false glamour and deceitfulness of riches, and the craving and passionate desire for other things creep in and choke and suffocate the Word, and it becomes fruitless. And those sown on the good (well-adapted) soil are the ones who hear the Word and receive and accept and welcome it and bear fruit--some thirty times as much as was sown, some sixty times as much, and some [even] a hundred times as much. Mark 4:3-20 AMP

Homework:

Do Chapter 2 in Workbook. Spend time with the Holy Spirit and ask Him to help you write your mate list. Ask Him to reveal at least 2 RHEMA scriptures for you to sow for your mate. Ask God to make your heart fallow ground in the area of receiving your mate. Pray and ask God for a mate who matches your list. Then sow the RHEMA scriptures in your heart by verbally speaking them out loud for at least 15 days!

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study

2011-04-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

***UPDATE***

The last WMM bible study will be on June 25, 2011 instead of July 2nd. Luke and I are moving to Boston and we have renters moving in on July 1st.

We are less than a month out from Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study!!!
If you live in the Houston area and want to come, email me at bethanykscanlon@gmail.com and I will send you my address.

When: 6 Saturdays in a row May 21st- June 25.

Where: My house! Email for Address!

Time: 6:30-9:00 pm Fellowship/worship/teaching/break up into groups

Cost: Bible Study workbook will be available at author cost. $3. No offering will be asked for or accepted.

Who can come?: Single Men and Women *Nobody under the age of 16! No children are allowed!

Prostitution of the Heart

2011-03-29T11:50:00.000-07:00

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Proverbs 4:23 NLT

Did you know your heart is supposed to belong to the Lord? Yes, you are supposed to love your neighbor, but that is different then giving your heart away.

Yet many singles give away their hearts to someone who is not their mate, and they wonder what went wrong when the relationship doesn't work out. I have said this before, and I will say it again, DO NOT give away your heart until there is a ring on your finger! When you cut covenant at the marriage altar, THEN give away your heart to your spouse. And until then, your heart belongs 100% to the Lord.

Are you getting hurt relationship after relationship? Do you find yourself struggling to get over a past relationship? Maybe it's because you prostituted your heart. Giving someone your heart before they should have it, is not love, it's desperation.

Are you so desperate for someone to love you that you give away your heart to someone who has not cut the marriage covenant with you?

Yes, God placed a supernatural love in my heart for Luke, but I can honestly say that I did not give him my heart until marriage. As far as I was concerned, he didn't deserve it until he pledged his life to me, and did it in front of a minister and witnesses. I considered anything less whoredom, and so does the bible.

for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God: Exodus 34:14b

Ever heard these excuses for staying in what the bible calls a sinful romantic relationship?

"I know she's an unbeliever, but I love her. God desires all people to be saved. Don't you think God chose me to lead her to him?"

"I know the bible says no sex before marriage. But I love him. Everyone else is doing it. Nothing bad seems to be happening to them."

If you really love someone, you won't sin with them or against them. Jesus loves you and he would NEVER sin against you or help you sin. Why? Because that's not love, it's carnality and lust.

I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people. 1 Corinthian 5:11

Doing it right!

2011-02-04T12:29:00.000-08:00

If you haven't heard already, Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study begins on Saturday May 21st this year for 7 Saturday night sessions at my house off of 290 in Fairfield. If you want to come, email me and I will give you directions. ( I don't want to post my address online)

I am ordering a bunch of workbooks so my cost will be about $3 a piece, and that is what you can buy them for at the study. Otherwise I think they are $15 on Amazon & Barnes and Noble. We will have a couple of guests this year, like every year, who have followed the bible study, obeyed God, and are now married to Christian spouses. They will be sharing their testimonies.

-Bethany

Brand new testimony!!!! Lanae's Story

2011-01-12T20:43:00.000-08:00

I was out in my own free will without the Lord for most of my adulthood, until the day I agreed to pray the salvation prayer with an employee at one of the stores I was in charge of named Bethany. Bethany knew I was in an ungodly relationship with a man, and she knew I desired to be married. We diligently prayed about it...among many other things in both our lives (like Bethany's desire to find her mate. But I digress!) The Lord faithfully answered my prayers and 3 years later the ungodly relationship ended and I found myself alone at 33 yrs. old. I called Bethany and asked for prayer. I knew God heard my requests for the perfect mate HE had in store for me...after all I had a list of qualifying characteristics I turned over to Him and stood on it in prayer. :-) The question was how long would I wait? The uncertainty was faith building. It’s hard when you can't see the trees through the fog, but I knew God was in control of my life!

Less than 2 months later, I was on the lake with my brother when he introduced me to his friend's son, Scott. Now, let me add some color to the story. I had known, and been around, this friend of my brothers for 10 years and never knew about this son of his! I completely trusted my brother, and he assured me his friend just wanted to see his son while he was visiting Austin. I just wanted to hang out with my brother and cry on his shoulder, but I realized how selfish I was being. Couple hours later we were all eating steak dinners and hanging out with this guy named Scott. Much to my surprise, I was amused by his humor and pleasantly surprised I enjoyed conversation since my heart was still recovering from the recent break-up. I felt safe...oddly at home with this new friend. He gave me his phone number and said “Call me sometime if you want to have lunch.” I blew it off because I knew he had a girlfriend. A couple of weeks later I decided to have a girl’s night out and I called Scott because I wanted his girlfriend to come out with me. I thought if Scott wanted to come along that would be fine with me. I wanted to make more girlfriends and thought that since Scott was so funny and easy to get along with, his girlfriend would be too. I was not romantically attracted to Scott since I was not ready for romance because of my recent breakup. When I called Scott, I was shocked when he thanked me for the invitation but said he didn't have a girlfriend anymore, they had broken up. Being that it was on the heels of my break-up, I really just wanted to surround myself with girlfriends. I was so disappointed. I wasn't sure if I wanted just Scott to come, but by the end of our conversation I found myself extending an invitation to him. Over the course of the next several days, leading up to this get together with friends, Scott and I talked on the phone several times. Our phone conversations would last for hours at a time! I was building an easy, carefree friendship with him. Scott was late to the girl's night out and I couldn't figure out why I kept looking at my cell phone, wondering if he was going to make it or not. Better late than never, he arrived and was the highlight of my night. This was how the friendship started and it grew from there. Over the course of the next couple months, we shared more about ourselves with one another. He found me "refreshing as a Christian." I felt I was a good influence on him in this area and would share my thoughts on Jesus Christ and what being a Christian meant to me. When he finally admitted he was atheist, I was very disappointed. I knew he had a lot of questions and soaked up my thoughts on Christianity, but I didn't realize the extent. Red flags were everywhere. Being “unequally yoked” was not ok with me. We hung out for about three months just as friends, but I began to grow fond of him. I tried to deny it at first, but my heart was turning towards him. Our conversations began to deepen and we realized we wanted to be more than friends. But, I told him that our relationship could never be serious because he was not a Christian. I told him I was not willing to be “unequally yoked.” I had seven traits on my mate list and Scott had all of them except the first one, which was being a Christian. He began to ask his friends and me about God and I would read him passages in the bible. He also had sisters who had been praying for his salvation too. A co-worker gave him the book, A Case for our Creator by Lee Strobel. The book began to cause him to question his beliefs. By October he had attended church with me four or five times trying to grasp what Jesus was all about. Since he knew things wouldn't go further with me as a nonbeliever, I think he was truly beginning to struggle with what he'd accepted as truth all his life up to this point, and whether I was even worth it. One Wednesday evening, sitting front and off to one side on the floor at church service, Scott stood up and answered the altar call. It wasn't planned or discussed. It was the Holy Spirit leading Scott. God reaches us in our individual ways. HE used me as his willing vessel to reach Scott. I was fully in the grips of heartache when Scott and I met, so surely I was going to be allowed that time for self-pity. Ha! It was God's timing not mine! HE is sovereign and all things are for the good of HIS kingdom. I wrestled with the inability to shake the quiet voice inside telling me Scott was God's choice for my life. It didn't make sense to me...or to Scott. The Lord so graciously brought the PERFECT man in my life at the PERFECT time...but more importantly, a person got saved and became a soldier for God! It wasn't about me, though in my fleshly eyes I thought so! God had something WAY more important to do...like building HIS kingdom! Eleven months after Scott and I were introduced, we were standing on a white, sandy beach exchanging wedding vows. I don't think either one of us could've predicted this turn out that fateful day we were introduced! I just had to let go and allow God to be in control. Its trust! Do you blindly trust God? Once you go out in the "abyss" and let go, even when you don't fully understand the why, how, when, what, it’s only then you allow God's plan in your life! Praise Jesus! Just this past December, my 4 yr. old (oh yeah! We have 2 little boys!) asked me how Jesus could live in his heart. Chalk another soul up for God's kingdom! To think a 4 year old would ever ask ME to do the salvation prayer....well, this is life with Jesus Christ! Glory be to GOD!!

Blessings,

Lanae

P.S. Lanae was the district manager where I worked before I was married to Luke. Lanae prayed with me several times for God to send my mate. And during one of the times of prayer, she actually saw the name "Lucas Scanlon."

Irresolute!

2010-12-30T10:09:00.000-08:00

If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him. Only it must be in faith that he asks with no wavering (no hesitating, no doubting). For the one who wavers (hesitates, doubts) is like the billowing surge out at sea that is blown hither and thither and tossed by the wind. For truly, let not such a person imagine that he will receive anything [he asks for] from the Lord, [For being as he is] a man of two minds (hesitating, dubious, irresolute), [he is] unstable and unreliable and uncertain about everything [he thinks, feels, decides]. James 1:5-8

If any of you have heard me on the radio or read any of my other stuff, you will know I say over and over that the 1# reason Christian singles who should be married, but are not is because of doublemindedness.

And the longer I live and talk to singles, the more this becomes apparent. Luke and I have watched sorrowfully many times as I will help a single make their mate list, determined that they will obey the bible and only marry a believer who serves Jesus, walks in holiness and has the other qualities they listed.

However as soon as an unbeliever shows up who this single is attracted to, and shows them attention, like a dog they lap up the attention and start making excuses about how God has changed his mind or the bible is wrongly interpreted and God has sent them this unbeliever. Or they find a believer who is trapped in sexual sin, (or drugs etc) they sleep with them and make excuses how maybe the bible is misinterpreted in this area. Sorry, in the OT, Gospels, and NT it says in the Hebrew/Greek and English that we are to NOT marry an unbeliever and we are to NOT have sex before marriage.

But...when they marry this person, it is one problem after another. And suddenly the person is trying spiritual warfare etc to try to force their mate to obey God. What a waste of time. Instead of pursuing your God given destiny you are too busy wrapped up in trying to change someone God never told you to marry. The word says you reap what you sow and when you sow sin, you reap destruction. God isn't mocked.

But that isn't the only area I watch Christian singles be doubleminded. They say stupid things like "Well if God wants me to be married, he'll send someone!" Yeah and 10 years later those same people are still single and their baby bearing years are passing them by.

No, if you want to be married, get rid of your doublemindedness!!! Make a mate list. Be committed to marrying a believer who pursues God and walks in holiness. Get off the couch and start dating...and don't give me that weird man made doctrine about no dating either! Even when a lot of us received salvation we had to get out of our chairs and walk down the aisle and say the prayer the preacher gave us!!!

Decide this:

Do I want to get married?

Am I willing to only marry a believer and wait until marriage before getting involved physically like God's word says?

Am I willing to get rid of all the insane doctrines and lies about how God is going to bring my spouse and get out of the house and date?

Am I will to stop playing games with potential spouses hearts, get rid of my deception and seriously pursue a marriage relationship with another Christian? And that includes not dragging my feet to the altar.

Am I willing to believe that God is answering my prayer for wisdom and guidance and will help me make a correct decision concerning who to marry?

Am I willing to not be doubleminded?

If you are answering yes to these questions, then get off your duff and go get married!!!! It's time to enjoy your life!!!

P.S. If you are by any chance under 18 and not ready for a life long commitment of marriage then disregard my advice until you are:)

Common Misconception

2010-12-29T11:06:00.000-08:00

Question: I know God spoke to me and told me that ______ is supposed to be my mate. Why isn't it working out?

Answer:
There could be multiple reasons for this. One is that God did speak to you and the other person is not listening to God speak to them. I went through this with Luke. He thought the Devil was speaking to him about me because church leadership told him he was in lust and not hearing from God. I of course did not know this until later and it caused a lot of hurt on my end. He was ignoring me thinking he was obeying God.

Another reason is that you are trying so hard to hear from God on "who is my mate" that your focus is on that when you pray and not Jesus. Many times when I am trying sooooo hard to hear from God on a matter, my mind focuses on the problem. And I usually think I am hearing God tell me something that He isn't. Essentially the problem has consumed you and it has set up an "idol" in your heart taking precedence over the Lordship of Jesus Christ. I learned this the hard way and if you read Mark & Patti Virkler's book; How to Hear God's Voice they explain in detail this phenomenon in Chapter 3.

The Way is Narrow

2010-12-27T13:59:00.000-08:00

Words of Jesus Christ:
But the gate is narrow (contracted by pressure) and the way is straitened and compressed that leads away to life, and few are those who find it. Matthew 7:14 AMP

I was reading the Amplified bible today and the Lord put on my heart to read Matthew 7:14. I read it and sensed the Lord leading me to write about it on this blog. The Amplified bible translates "the gate is narrow" by showing it's full meaning of "contracted by pressure." And isn't that how the Kingdom of God operates? I have felt this pressure and compression several times in my Christian walk. Many times it is because God is trying to get me to go in a certain direction that I either hadn't been aware of, or didn't want to go. And of course as soon as I did what I was supposed to, I had a desire and joy about the new direction.

God's ways aren't our ways!

Another way I have felt the pressure from the narrow gate is when I have been disobediant. I didn't want to repent. I was mad, didn't like something and wanted to be stubborn and stick to my believe system. When this would happen, I would feel the grace start to lift. My joy would began to subside. Like it or not, God demands obediance. You cannot expect the full measure of God's blessings on you without obediance to his word. This includes the rhema or "spoken word" of God. When God moves on your heart or speaks to your spirit about something, and you don't do it, this is disobediance.

When God originally spoke to me that Luke was my mate, I had a very hard time digesting it. He didn't come in the package that I thought in my natural mind he should come in. Don't get me wrong, Luke was a born again believer who was at church more than the Pastor and operated in the gifts of the Holy Spirit. He was also very attractive. However, he wasn't my type. Which should have been my first clue. My type had brought nothing but trouble to me over the past several years along with huge doses of heartbreak. Over the next several months as I obeyed what God had put on my heart and got to know Luke, I realized he was a match to my long and very demanding mate list. From what I could see without living with him (which we did not do until after we were legally wed) he was a perfect match. After we did marry, several of the other things on the list came to pass. Not because I forced them, but because we walked in holiness, and somethings I could not know until after the wedding.

The curse of man ruling woman!

2010-12-10T08:06:00.000-08:00

During the first eight years of my marriage to Luke, we tried hard for him to "be head of the household" and for me to follow him as he followed the Lord. But...Luke kept telling me he didn't feel right about this doctrine in his spirit and either did I, but I certainly didn't want to be Jezebel! We prayed and prayed asking for God to help us and show us the truth. We both had been taught that the man was head of the household and King, Priest and Prophet of our house. With NT scriptures backing up this doctrine. At least we thought they were. Then little by little, the Lord gave us revelation and I wrote a book called Addiction to Authority about some of it. Before you either shut down or openly believe the following teaching, I'm asking that you pray this prayer asking for God to guide you.

Father God, as I read this teaching by Bethany, I'm asking that the spirit of Truth would guide me into all truth. I ask that You give me a personal revelation about the "Head of the Household" doctrine. In Jesus Christ's name I ask, AMEN!

When Adam, Eve and the snake who allowed Satan to use him, disobeyed God, God placed a curse on them:

And the Lord God said to the serpent, Because you have done this, you are cursed above all [domestic] animals and above every [wild] living thing of the field; upon your belly you shall go, and you shall eat dust [and what it contains] all the days of your life.And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her Offspring; He will bruise and tread your head underfoot, and you will lie in wait and bruise His heel.To the woman He said, I will greatly multiply your grief and your suffering in pregnancy and the pangs of childbearing; with spasms of distress you will bring forth children. Yet your desire and craving will be for your husband, and he will rule over you. And to Adam He said, Because you have listened and given heed to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, saying, You shall not eat of it, the ground is under a curse because of you; in sorrow and toil shall you eat [of the fruits] of it all the days of your life. Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth for you, and you shall eat the plants of the field.In the sweat of your face shall you eat bread until you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you shall return. Genesis 3:14-19

One of the curses placed on women was that man would rule her. Even though this wasn't the original intent from God. Good news is, in the New Testament, Jesus became the curse to remove this off of us!
Martin Luther, who openly admitted to beating his wife, and wrote that women were only good for child bearing and should never be educated, translated the bible to German. Martin Luther taught that women should be subservient to men and it came out in his interpretation. His German translation helped influence our King James translation. No where in the bible does it say that man is head of the household. Jesus Christ is head of the husband and wife. The scripture that many preachers use to claim that the husband is head of the household is this one:

But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,[a] and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3 NIV

Does this scripture say that the husband is "head of the household."? NO! That teaching came from the Catholic Church. In the Greek translation "head" means: kephale- Christ is your source, beginning or origin. (It does not mean ruler.) The scriptures are about HONORING one another, not controlling someone based on gender!

Here are the footnotes from the NLT for 1 Corinthians 11:3:

"Or to know: The source of every man is Christ, the source of woman is man, and the source of Christ is God. Or to know: Every man is responsible to Christ, a woman is responsible to her husband, and Christ is responsible to God."

Paul is reminding people about God using Adam's DNA to create woman! This scripture does not mean that man rules woman!

The curse God placed on women continued and even in some of our churches today it is preached that man is head of the household instead of God. In the gospels, Jesus Christ NEVER said that a woman was to obey a man. Why would the Apostle Paul write that a woman was to obey a man since his epistles confirmed Jesus' teachings. He did not actually add to them, he explained what was already spoken!

If you follow that line of thinking, it doesn't make sense anyway. How can Jesus Christ be my Lord if my husband is? The bible says that we can't have two masters (Matthew 6:24), we will hate the one and love the other! How can we be submitted and led by the Holy Spirit if woman has already given her authority away to man? Just like other curses that Satan keeps in our lives unless we come out of agreement with them, man ruling woman will continue!
Both of you are equal in Jesus Christ and have him as head of the household, not man! The Holy Spirit is the TRUE leader! The husband is not King, Priest and Prophet of the house, Jesus Christ is! If you don't believe me, do your own research! Study the original Hebrew/Greek translations, not the English versions that are partially handed down from Martin Luther who got his ideas from the Catholic Church. He had a doctorate in theology from the Catholic Church. And even though he had some revelation about us being saved by grace through faith and that church leaders could marry, he still held on to many teachings from the Catholic Church.
How can we say Jesus is King and then turn around and say (if you are a husband) that you are King and ruler?Again, Jesus Christ became a curse so we could walk around free! But just like salvation, if you don't receive it, you are doomed to live under Satan's shadow and plan. Also the word submit means respect! The bible says that the man is to submit to the wife and his body belongs to her (and vice versa!) (1 Corinthians 7:3-5) If the man is Lord of the house, then those scriptures don't add up. And in my own opinion, I don't think it is fair that a man gets the final say so just because of his gender.

Jesus Christ is Lord of your house and your submission is to him. I won't go into my spiel about church leadership trying to take your authority by mistranslation of the scripture, but did it ever occur to you that Satan is the one behind trying to get you to submit to somebody's else's authority other than God's? Even if it is in the name of God? If you are still not convinced that Satan trying to put man as a mediator between God and woman is from the original curse in Genesis, read the following story from Esther:

On the seventh day, when the king's heart was merry with wine, he commanded Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar, and Carkas, the seven eunuchs who ministered to King Ahasuerus as attendants,
To bring Queen Vashti before the king, with her royal crown, to show the peoples and the princes her beauty, for she was fair to behold. But Queen Vashti refused to come at the king's command conveyed by the eunuchs. Therefore the king was enraged, and his anger burned within him.Then the king spoke to the wise men who knew the times--for this was the king's procedure toward all who were familiar with law and judgment--Those next to him being Carshena, Shethar, Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena, and Memucan, the seven princes of Persia and Media who were in the king's presence and held first place in the kingdom.[He said] According to the law, what is to be done to Queen Vashti because she has not done the bidding of King Ahasuerus conveyed by the eunuchs? And Memucan answered before the king and the princes, Vashti the queen has not only done wrong to the king but also to all the princes and to all the peoples who are in all the provinces of King Ahasuerus.For this deed of the queen will become known to all women, making their husbands contemptible in their eyes, since they will say, King Ahasuerus commanded Queen Vashti to be brought before him, but she did not come.This very day the ladies of Persia and Media who have heard of the queen's behavior will be telling it to all the king's princes. So contempt and wrath in plenty will arise.If it pleases the king, let a royal command go forth from him and let it be written among the laws of the Persians and Medes, so that it may not be changed, that Vashti is to [be divorced and] come no more before King Ahasuerus; and let the king give her royal position to another who is better than she.So when the king's decree is made and proclaimed throughout all his kingdom, extensive as it is, all wives will give honor to their husbands, high and low. This advice pleased the king and the princes, and the king did what Memucan proposed.He sent letters to all the royal provinces, to each in its own script and to every people in their own language, saying that every man should rule in his own house and speak there in the language of his own people. [If he had foreign wives, let them learn his language.] Esther 1:10-22 AMP

Memucan, the King's astrologer who openly served false gods, proposed to King Ahasuerus that women will obey their husbands, men will will rule their own house and if a man has a foreign wife, she will learn his language. King Ahasuerus agreed to the decree and it spread all throughout the land as LAW. A demonically inspired law.

This is an excerpt I wrote from a bible study I coauthored with Christine Dickson called Redeeming Catholics and their Catholicism. (And just so you know, I have visited the Vatican three times already, taking historical tours and have even seen the Pope speak. I have done my research!)

Between 195-258 AD, a man named Cyprian helped develop doctrines in the Church by teaching the primacy of the Roman church over all the other churches. He claimed anyone outside the Catholic Church was lost. Cyprian also practiced infant baptisms. Cyprian’s teachings were used by Roman Catholicism to establish Catholic doctrine during the middle ages.

Between 382- 405 AD a man named Jerome who lived as a hermit started a monastery in Bethlehem where he promoted self-denial, celibacy of the clergy and the worship of the Virgin Mary. Pope Damasus commissioned him to retranslate the New Testament in Latin. To help him do this Jerome used the work of Origen and had many copies of the already existing Old Latin Vulgate which was more in agreement with the original text of the New Testament discarded or destroyed. Origen taught that God the Father is the originating cause of Jesus, and the Holy Spirit is subordinate to and created by Jesus. He also taught baptism for the remission of sins and approved the baptism of children. He also taught that even damned people and Satan would be brought in voluntary subjection to Christ after they were sufficiently punished (purgatory). He removed parts from the original bible including the command “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” from Matthew 19:16-22 and the word “carpenter” from Mark 6:3. Origin also translated the bible using Philo’s (a Greek philosopher) allegorical interpretations. This way he could have the bible support his doctrines that he practiced in his monastery. The bible was translated from Origen’s text twice by Alexandrian scholars, one is called the Sinaiticus and the other is called the Vaticanus. These Alexandrian texts which were written between 325-350 AD, omitted several more bible verses including Mark 16:9-20. The bishop of Hippo, North Africa named Augustine (354-430AD) taught that interpretation of the bible should conform to Catholic doctrines and traditions instead of the other way around. This method became very popular and is now known as the western type of interpretation. Today, Jerome is considered a saint in the Catholic Church for his work.

The Apocryphal books (Deuterocanonical books) in the Catholic bible were removed by the translators of the King James Version (1611) because they were not written in Hebrew which was the language used by the historians and prophets of the Old Testament. Since the Apocryphal books were written before the New Testament, it nullified the validity of the books. One Apocryphal book was even written originally in Latin. Another reason was because none of the writers claimed to be inspired by God and the books contradicted themselves and the other writings of the bible. Since God would not contradict Himself, there was no basis for these writings authenticity. The Apocryphal books encouraged prayers to the dead (2 Maccabees 12:43-45) and the purchasing of atonement for sins by giving alms (Ecclesiasticus 3:30 & Tobit 12:8-17). They also taught casting spells to control demons (Tobit 6:5-8) which directly went against the other books in the bible. The Jews, who have guarded the Old Testament writings since they were written, were appalled by the Apocryphal books and tried to destroy them around 70 A.D.

In 1546 the council of Trent which is currently still in effect, declared that the apocryphal books and Catholic tradition were to be considered the word of God.

The King James Version of the bible also used Syrian text to translate the Word of God instead of Alexandrian. Antioch of Syria was known for preserving the original texts of the bible and for the literal interpretation of scripture. Martin Luther's German translation influenced today's King James version.

Good Advice

2010-11-17T14:21:00.000-08:00

A good man eats good from the fruit of his mouth, but the desire of the treacherous is for violence. Proverbs 13:2 AMP

I want to talk to you today about common sense. After I began living on my own, most mistakes I made could have been avoided by simply exercising common sense. The same thing with romantic relationships. I have watched many a Christian get wrapped up in their own weird doctrines about how God will send their mate, that they miss the answer staring them in the face.
Sometimes a spirit of Religion is the reason a Christian isn't married. There are plenty of other reasons too, but today I want to focus on the Spirit of Religion. I've written a short book about it, but I want to show you how the spirit of Religion can blind you from meeting your mate. First of all, know that a spirit of Religion can easily set up a strongman against you when you make decisions not led by the Holy Spirit.

Do you not "speak in tongues" because your denomination forbids it, even though Jesus authorized and openly said in the gospel of Mark 16:17 if you are a believer that "speaking in tongues" should follow you?

Do you refuse to internet date, or date period because it is looked down upon at your church, even though NOTHING in the bible forbids dating or the internet?

Do you refuse to date a perfectly good, walking in holiness, born again believer who you find attractive because they don't agree with you on every doctrine?

Do you clam up around the believer you've got your eye on because "if it's God it will just work out?" Instead of forming a friendship with the person and then letting them know in a polite, non boundary busting way, that you are open to a romantic relationship?

Do you refuse to put the time and effort in it takes to find and form a healthy romantic relationship with another believer because you aren't sure if "it's God's will" you get married? Even though you long for and dream about a spouse to love and take care of? As if God wants to pour cold water on your heart's cry!

I recommend you spend some time in the presense of Almighty God and ask Him if there is anywhere in your life where you have aligned yourself with the spirit of Religion instead of the Holy Spirit. If you have, bind that strongman, strip him of his armor, and cast him out!

Earlier this year when I taught Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study, I had the singles do this exercise, (I may have blogged about this before, but I don't remember and the Holy Spirit just moved on my heart to have you do it.)

First, take a blank piece of paper and write down every reason you believe you're not married yet. (This assignment is only for those believers who are old enough for marriage and want to be married.)

After you write down the reasons, pray over each of them lifting them up to the Holy Spirit. You are also welcome to share your list with a trusted friend. The reason for this assignment is because more often that not, you are believing a lie or a couple of lies that is hindering you from getting married. Once you expose the lie, it loses power. Here is an example of a few things that I have heard:

I work too much to date. (This is a lie, it means that dating is not a priority, which it needs to be if you want to get married. It could also mean that you are hiding behind work and there is a deeper issue.)

Nobody wants me because I travel too much for work. (Again, this means that dating is not a priority because you can make it work, at least in the beginning of the relationship. And if you really want to get married, and travel is a problem, then you should be looking for another job.)

I don't know anybody "dateable." Seriously? This is a really dumb excuse! Start visiting other churches, let your Christian friends know you are looking for marriage and do they know anyone? Get on one of the many internet dating sites! I of course recommend a Christian based one, but plenty of Christians use the secular ones as well.

I could go on with this list but you get the picture! After you write down your own list, go back and reread the blog previous to this one called "Choose-Victory or Defeat!" about traumatic experiences and see if anything you wrote down on your list could be from a traumatic experience. If so, go through the steps I listed to get healed!

Choose-Victory or Defeat

2010-09-17T08:36:00.000-07:00

I want to talk to you today about traumatic experiences. When we experience a trauma in a past relationship (parent's divorce, rape, bad break-up, incest etc.) we tend to develop a fear based wound concerning that situation. And then we see future relationships through that lens. If you are having a problem getting involved in a healthy, Christ based romantic relationship, you may have an inner wound holding you back.

This is what a healthy Christ centered romantic relationship looks like:

Both of you serve Jesus Christ with your whole hearts and are committed to the purpose and plan he has for you. (It is unscriptural and in direct disobedience to God's word if you date/marry an unbeliever-if you are doing this, repent of idolatry and rebellion)

You walk in love towards one another, go to church/ bible studies together and pursue a deeper walk with Christ.

You encourage one another toward good works.

Both of you are open and honest and walk in truth.

Here is what an unhealthy relationship looks like:

Missionary dating. (If you are unfamiliar with the term, it means you believe God sent you someone that you are supposed to lead to Christ and then marry. Most common form of deception among Christian singles.)

One of you withholds love while the other is begging for attention.

One of you refuses to work, behave properly or has a bad habit like porn or gambling while the other thinks it is their God given mission to fix you.

Sexual relationship outside of marriage.

Tears you down with negativity. (Calls you crazy, lets you know you will never measure up etc.)

Ask yourself, have you been through a trauma? Are you going around in circles and can't figure out what is wrong? Why you can't seem to receive and maintain a healthy, Christian romantic relationship?The only way to get a true inner healing is to spend time with the Lord Jesus Christ and ask him to heal you. I am going to show you how to do this right now:

1.) Get someplace quiet where you have time and no distractions. Go before the throne of God in the name of Jesus Christ. Ask for Jesus' blood to cover any mistakes and forgive anyone you need to.

2.) Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you to a portion of scripture and read what he gives you.

3.) Close your eyes and ask the Holy Spirit to show you any situations in your life that have caused a wound and are preventing you from having a healthy, Christ-centered, relationship with the person he has called you to marry.

3.) When he shows you the situation (or a series of situations) forgive whoever was involved and repent of your sin, involvement. (don't skip repentance and forgiveness this is mandatory!) Then ask specifically for the glory of Jesus Christ to remove the wound. Wait until you have peace in your spirit that the wound is healed then command in the Name of Jesus Christ for every demon spirit that was attached to that memory/wound to leave and never come back.

4.) Repeat steps 1-3 as often as necessary. Usually we have several wounds! And of course, this doesn't just have to be used concerning relationships. God had to heal me of several things before I could enter in a relationship with Luke.

Lowering your Standards

2010-06-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

A huge mistake I often see with singles is that they lower their standards concerning who they marry. The root cause of this is idolatry. Over and over again I have seen Christians marry unbelievers and then cry and complain when their spouse never attends church with them or prays with them. They spend many hours praying that "God will save them" and endless heartache trying to drag their spouse to church. They also usually compromise their walk with God in order to "keep the peace". And the end result is rarely that the spouse gets on fire for Christ. They may capitulate and say the salvation prayer, but it is rare that they will fulfill their full purpose in God.

And the reason why is because God never sent the person in the first place, Satan did. And the Christian fell for it because they put their "romantic notions" above what God's word says about who they should marry. And anytime you put God's word above something it is IDOLATRY and the result will be FAILURE!

I want you to read the next 3 sets of scriptures OUT LOUD!

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 (AMP) Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers [do not make mismated alliances with them or come under a different yoke with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership have right living and right standing with God with iniquity and lawlessness? Or how can light have fellowship with darkness?What harmony can there be between Christ and Belial [the devil]? Or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?What agreement [can there be between] a temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God; even as God said, I will dwell in and with and among them and will walk in and with and among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be My people.So, come out from among [unbelievers], and separate (sever) yourselves from them, says the Lord, and touch not [any] unclean thing; then I will receive you kindly and treat you with favor,And I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.

1 John 3:7-10 (NLT) Dear children, don’t let anyone deceive you about this: When people do what is right, it shows that they are righteous, even as Christ is righteous. But when people keep on sinning, it shows that they belong to the devil, who has been sinning since the beginning. But the Son of God came to destroy the works of the devil. Those who have been born into God’s family do not make a practice of sinning, because God’s life[a] is in them. So they can’t keep on sinning, because they are children of God. So now we can tell who are children of God and who are children of the devil. Anyone who does not live righteously and does not love other believers[b] does not belong to God.

Ephesians 5:3-8 (AMP) But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them. For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light.

God clearly says to STAY AWAY from any type of yoke or partnership with someone who isn't following Christ! And did you also read that God's idea of someone who is following Christ is someone who stays away from sexual immorality, profanity etc. That they live a life of HOLINESS!

If you think that God sent you someone as a marriage partner so that you can lead them to Christ, then you are DECIEVED! The bible says in John 1 "God is the word and the word is God." That means that God isn't going to go against himself and send you someone who isn't following Jesus and walking holy. And a possible romantic partner saying "I believe in God" without bearing fruit is a DECOY sent from SATAN!

Read the words of Jesus Christ OUT LOUD!

Matthew 7:22-23 NLT On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ 23 But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’

Jesus is talking about people who call him Lord! Only Christians call Jesus, Lord. No other religion does that. Did you notice that Jesus will tell you on Judgement Day "get away from me" if you "break God's laws." And these are Christians who perfom miracles and cast demons out of people. Why would Jesus Christ say this and then send you someone to marry who "break God's laws?"

I warn you again, if you marry an unbeliever, or a believer who isn't walking in holiness, then you WILL suffer the consequences. You will live half the life God has for you because you are now one flesh with someone who isn't living for God. And that half of you will be fruitless and a nothing but a burden to bear. And usually, when I see this, the partner who was originally Christian ends up either not attending church after a while or they are too busy walking on eggshells afraid their mate "won't approve."

Is this the life you want to live? If you have been romantically involved with an unbeliever, REPENT of IDOLATRY! And kick him or her to the curb! They ARE NOT your responsibility.

If you are reading this and are already married to an unbeliever, then ask God to FORGIVE you disobeying his word! And God forbids divorce unless there is adultery or abuse, so please do not see the above scriptures as an excuse for divorce. I'm sorry, but you will have to "tough it out." with your spouse. However, DO NOT put your spouse's wishes above obedience to God and the leading of the Holy Spirit. If you do this, you are again in IDOLATRY! And ladies, don't use the "Head of the Household" excuse either! The scripture says that "you submit unto your husband as unto the Lord." That means your husband is to be submitted to the Lord and lead the household in the way that God has called it to go. And if you are married to an unbeliever, then they are NOT being led by the Holy Spirit and leading the household in the way it should go. And by the way, the word "submit" in that scripture is supposed to be translated "show respect to" and does not mean "obey."

ALWAYS OBEY GOD OVER MAN!

BRAND NEW TESTIMONY!!! Tracy's Story

2010-05-10T06:52:00.000-07:00

Tracy’s Story

My original plan was to be an Air Force Nurse, marry at 25, have 3 children by 30 and be a stay at home Mom. That didn’t happen! Knowing I needed to support myself, I became a Public Relations Specialist for a Government Contractor and at 32, became an FBI Special Agent (read my book God Is Bigger Than Your FBI for a full account).

When I was 13, two important things happened: I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior – and I started praying that God would bring me a man that would love me as much as I would love him. Praying turned to wishing – on stars, fountains, birthday cakes, psychics, wish-bones…every dating service known to man - you name it. And I began a long and twisted cycle of committing my life to God and following His way – and getting frustrated by waiting sooooo long and taking things into my own hands. I felt that if God wouldn’t bring me the right man, I’d just take the man that looked good at the time. I needed God to have skin – to be able to touch Him and talk to Him face to face…and I was frustrated when I couldn’t.

One thing about God – He let me be stubborn and walk away from Him. He didn’t go anywhere…He continued to love me and pull at my heart while I made choices that left me broken, hollow and empty. God cannot and will not bless sin…and the relationships I chose were not godly in any way.

That pattern continued until 2000, when I found myself in an ungodly relationship that nearly killed me. When I ended that relationship, I was on my knees begging, screaming and crying that God would protect my heart and give me the strength to stay away from any romantic relationship until it was the right man – the man that He wanted as my husband. God heard my prayer and was faithful to my request – I just didn’t know it would be 9 years before I was ready. God gave me a wonderful family, friends, and so many amazing experiences - that I wasn’t lonely…With His help, I was determined to be faithful – and stay that way!

Four things happened that I believe led me to my sweet Jeffrey:

1) I met Luke and Bethany at Lakewood Church. Bethany and I were in the Lakewood Players Drama Troupe and I was drawn to the light in her – the Lord in her. She encouraged me to read her book, Where’s My Mate? which I did – and in faith, I added to my “list” of what I desired in my life-partner: Christian, Responsible, Gorgeous with a great smile, Respectable, Even Tempered, Stable, Truthful, Trustworthy, Faithful, Fun, Witty, Crazy, Assertive, Strong Willed, Understanding, Big Hearted, Romantic, Encouraging, Active, Diverse, Family Motivated, Humble, Patriotic Loving, Sensitive, Proud, Educated, Drug-free.

2) In March, 2008, Bethany and Luke prayed with me in a parking lot – specifically about my mate. At 44, I still knew that God had not given me the “gift of singleness” – but I also listened to the world – that it’s more likely to be abducted by a terrorist than to be married after 35. Their prayer was so powerful – and I wept. My heart held on to their confidence that God would answer this prayer for my husband – and a family --- what I had desired all my life.

3) In December, 2008, I saw the movie, “The Wedding Date” and a line from the movie tore through me…Every woman has the exact love life she wants. This echoed in my heart - over and over. I wondered if all the bad relationships I had been through actually made me callous to love? If being there through all the divorces my friends went through made me think love couldn’t be real? And then I prayed to God that He would open my heart to love, heal me of fear and embrace the man and relationship He wanted for me…and I asked if He would bring Him by Valentine’s Day --- (no pressure).

4) My father passed away in July 2007 and I moved from Houston to care for my Mother. She and my Dad were married for 49 years – together 51 including the time they dated. When he died, my mother just seemed to give up. She needed a full-time care-giver. As time passed, she declined more and more. I hired a care-giver to be with her during the day while I worked – but nights and weekends were all up to me. I remembered my prayer about my husband – but accepted that this would be my life. I didn’t have time to date – and to be honest – I didn’t have the energy. My prayer changed to, “Lord, you know my heart and my desire for a husband and family…but You have given me the honor of caring for my sweet Mother. Give me the grace to accept my situation with an open heart - Your will be done.”To make a long story short: I reconnected with my high-school sweetheart, after 27 years, on Facebook - Valentine’s Day 2009. He had been trying to reach me for years and had never stopped loving me. We never broke up – my parents moved the family to Texas after high-school graduation and he joined the Air Force and moved to Germany – it was simply a geographical break-up. He came to visit in March 2009, we were engaged in April – and married September 5, 2009. When God moved, He moved quickly – and with such sweetness and tenderness. Jeffrey is Everything on my list and so many more things that I didn’t even know I needed. He is the perfect man – for me!

I didn’t have doubts about my feelings for Jeffrey and he wasn’t shy about his feelings toward me. In fact, even with all the bad relationships in my past, and his – God healed those wounds and reignited the friendship, romance and love that we had (without “dating”) – and then took our love beyond anything either of us could imagine. I never knew I could be loved like this and I’m grateful that God made me wait - for my Mr. Right! And did I mention that I’m a Mother? Jeffrey has two wonderful children that adore me almost as much as I do them. God fulfilled the desires of my heart with an amazing husband – in His time. Our Wedding Website: www.momentville.com/TracyandJeffrey

Dale and Cindy's Story

2010-05-08T10:44:00.000-07:00

Dale and Cindy visited Want to Find your Mate? bible study last night to tell their testimony! Only one more session left this friday night on May 14! Parts 1-3 on YouTube!

Part One: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmhfjtasv8E

Part Two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCHyHh_PbvU

Part Three: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkgYTCxLpjI

Laurie Hind's Story

2010-05-02T20:20:00.000-07:00

Laurie Hinds told her testimony at Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study! Dale is coming this week to share his story! In You Tube videos part two and three, that is my voice you hear chiming in and my husband Luke is the cutie in the blue shirt!

Laurie Part one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlDzGDOXpy8

Laurie Part two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qubKOwFpCL8&feature=related

Laurie Part three: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJwZi2J2kL0&feature=related

Only two more Want to Find your Mate? Bible Studies left!

Laura's Story

2010-04-19T10:29:00.000-07:00

Hi Ya'll!

Laura (Laura's Story) visited Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study session #2 to tell her testimony of how God sent her mate! I video taped it and posted it on You Tube! Check it out!

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRNeJcL6SJE

Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhbMEmqJlK8&feature=related

Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PthlNPFfIA&feature=related

Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP4Br9BPQWI&feature=related

Hammered!

2010-04-13T21:32:00.000-07:00

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study has begun! I have felt a shift in the atmosphere and excitement in the air! The burden many singles have carried concerning finding a suitable spouse is ready to lift! One of the reasons I teach this bible study is so I can change the way singles think. The majority of singles have the same fears, same questions and same hang-ups. They are stuck running in endless circles with no clue how to break free.

I spend time in prayer reading God's word and hearing directly from Him concerning what to teach in these sessions. He knows who is coming to the studies and He knows what they need to hear.

The majority of singles are single because of bad doctrine, doublemindness, stubborness, fear and believing flat out lies.

Are you tired of Satan telling you that God doesn't have anyone for you or that God is withholding your mate even though you are in your 30's (40's,50's, 60's...), been single and walking with God for several years and believing him for a mate? Or how about the lie that you simply aren't emotionally ready for a mate even though you've gone through every healing and deliverance class the church has to offer for the past ten years?

Honestly, I thought I had arrived spiritually until I got married! I mean how much love do you need to walk in living by yourself? And why wash dishes or shave? No need to practice holding my tongue when only the cat is listening.

And warning singles: If someone is trying to teach you how to get married to a Godly spouse when they themselves are single or married to an unbeliever, watch out. It's like taking diet advice from a fat person.

Just do it!

2010-04-09T06:46:00.000-07:00

Before moving on, please read the next four scriptures carefully!

So they said, “Arise, let us go up against them. For we have seen the land, and indeed it is very good. Would you do nothing? Do not hesitate to go, and enter to possess the land.
Judges 18:9 NKJV

Diligent hands will rule,but laziness ends in slave labor. Proverbs 12:24

The slothful man does not catch his game or roast it once he kills it, but the diligent man gets precious possessions. Proverbs 12:27 AMP

The way of the sluggard is overgrown with thorns [it pricks, lacerates, and entangles him], but the way of the righteous is plain and raised like a highway. Proverbs 15:19 AMP

Do you see a pattern here? Laziness gets you nowhere, and diligence gets you precious possessions. Do you consider marriage to a Godly spouse a precious possession? I know I did, and still do. My precious possession prays with me every morning, is faithful to me and in almost nine years of marriage has NEVER called me a nasty name or raised a hand to me. NEVER. He won't even watch a Victoria's Secrets commercial or allow those magazines in our home. My husband is my best friend and we are still in love.

Some people have called me lucky to have found "The One." but I can tell you right now it has NOTHING to do with luck. It had everything to do with preparation meeting opportunity. I prepared properly and opportunity knocked. I did my part, and God did his. God DID NOT move until I did my part. I studied, I prepared and I went on dates. Several of them. If you attend Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study this year (which begins tonight!) ask the couples who are coming to tell their testimony over the next few weeks about the work they put into getting married. I personally worked with and prayed with EVERYONE who has submitted a written testimony to me and got it published. They will ALL tell you that it wasn't easy. They didn't sit around, they put in the time. They did what I taught them to do and it WORKED! The people who didn't follow the biblical program, and tried to take shortcuts and/or complained, DID NOT get married. The bible says that the road is narrow and few ever find it. And yes this applies to salvation, but it also applies to other promises of God!

Laura's Story New Testimony!

2010-03-08T19:07:00.000-08:00

*Laura will be sharing her testimony in person at Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study this year!*

Laura’s Story

After 14 years of being single, I had given up on love, much less marriage. After being hurt and disappointed so many times, I kept my heart guarded and would only consider a man who met my unrealistically high standards morally and spiritually. I had convinced myself, like so many other Christian singles, that my future mate must be at church. So, I diligently kept my eyes open only at church, at Bible studies, and at singles conferences.

After all, wasn’t that where the Godliest men could be found?

One day during a church meeting for upcoming business entrepreneurs, I met Bethany. She told me that she was an author and she had just written a book called, Where’s My Mate? Those words spoken were like an alarm going off for me. I thought, I have got to get my hands on that book immediately! I gravitated to Bethany like a magnet. Could her book possibly have the answer to the questions I had asked God for what seemed to be most of my life? After meeting Bethany, I shared my desperate journey in search of a mate. She seemed so confident when she told me not to give up. She told me that if my heart desired to be married, I would be married. Wow, I thought, how could she be so sure that I would get married since she didn’t even know me? I thought maybe I didn’t explain well enough how long and hard I had searched. How could she have such an easy time believing for me when I had difficulty believing it could really happen myself?

When I finally did get my copy of Where’s My Mate?, I could not put it down. Everything in it that was shared, I could totally agree with. There was only one thing that I had a hard time doing, and that was making a list of the characteristics I wanted in my future mate. How bold, I thought, of the author! I just couldn’t do that especially since my faith was so weak. And, to no surprise, I did not make the list. About one year later, God allowed Bethany’s path to cross with mine again at a church retreat. I truly believe that it was God appointed. We became friends and began to pray together on a weekly basis. She had faith to believe for the husband I had no faith for. She made me write down a list of the characteristics I desired in my mate. She told me that the desires I had were placed in me by God and showed me scripturally why I was to write them down. When I wrote my list, I intentionally was very specific right down to the color of his eyes and hair. I included his profession and even that he was to live by the water. I think I made my list so detailed so I could prove to Bethany and to God that it could not be delivered. How could a man of that criteria be out there when I had waited for 14 years for just a Christian man? Bethany told me to keep the list in a safe place as a keepsake and as a reminder of what God had done after I had met my mate. She also told me that I would meet him in about two weeks. “Yah, sure” I thought.

Two weeks later, I met Joe, my future husband on a dating website. Now normally, I would never be open to dating on the internet. Because do Godly men really surf the internet for marriage partners? Only by God ordained intervention through Bethany was I ever persuaded to put up a profile on a dating website! Bethany insisted a dating website was a good place to look, and I fought her tooth and nail, but she won. And thank God she won, because I would still be single! At first I did not know if Joe was the one because my standards remained so very high. But God was patient with me. Did Joe meet my high expectations of what I thought was a deeply spiritual man? No, however, he had a hunger to know the Lord more than he already did, and God knew what I needed in a husband. I came to admire this man who showed me how to love others unconditionally. Something a deep seated, highly spiritual person, like myself, did not know how to do. God used Joe to show me the impurities in myself that I never realized were there…perhaps hindering me in ways that I was blindly unaware of. I thank the Lord daily for my “Godly” husband who has taught me so much about being a true Christian. Regretfully, due to my lack of faith, I did not keep the list Bethany had me write. Although I threw away the paper, the detailed characteristics I had written down remain vividly in my mind. My list included the following: a man with brown hair, brown eyes, over 6 feet tall, a Christian man who loved the Lord and attended church with me regularly, worked in the homebuilding industry, a man who lived by the water, who had a stable job (15 years or more in the same business), who made a six figure salary, who was successful yet humble, who was affectionate and would hold hands with me in public, who would have a healthy sex drive (oh yes I wrote this!), a man who was a giver not a taker, a man of honesty and integrity, had a good sense of humor and could make me laugh, who had a family who accepted and loved me…..and the list went on. Having gone through a painful divorce, the thought of risking another rejection terrified me and caused me to be overly picky, paranoid and protective. I didn’t know how to make a relationship work. I was so reluctant to try again!

In just a couple of weeks of meeting Joe, it was as if God breathed life into that list and it became a reality for me, every detail included. Joe is a match to exactly everything I had on my list. How can it be explained? Only by calling it what it is… a miracle. Even now, I remain amazed by it all. And I will never take for granted the gift God has given me. More amazing….Joe and I only lived about a mile from each other! Is that not just like God?

If I could give any of you singles out there advice, it would be to keep an open mind as to what God can do. We can limit ourselves and even hinder what God has for us by our strict way of thinking. I will even go to the extent to say that you may have met the mate God had sent for you, but you, like me, may have been unable to receive him/her just because he/she may not meet your unrealistic standards. God knows the best mate for us and it may not be what we have in mind exactly. My mate is all I could have ever asked for and met my criteria but God knew the VERY best man for me. If anything, don’t give up. Find someone who has the faith to believe for you, if you don’t have the faith to believe for yourself. And remember, NOTHING is impossible with God! And God is STILL a God of miracles.

*Joe and Laura married on June 26, 2008*

Did God send them into my life?

2010-02-21T19:10:00.000-08:00

I've been through it! I know what it is like to get attached to someone and ask over and over "Are they the one, Lord?" And all of the sudden "confirmations" start coming. Have you ever bought a car and suddenly you notice while your driving your new car that a LOT of other people have the same car? And you never noticed this before? It can be the same way with confirmations. Now God does confirm his word, but the devil loves to send you false confirmations. And then sometimes our minds play tricks on us because we want something badly.

My suggestion is, if you believe God has sent you someone, use WISDOM and COMMON SENSE! When I get in a situation where my emotions are engaged, and I think I might be hearing from the Holy Spirit but I'm not sure, I do these two things:

1.) Pray/ worship/read bible/listen to sermons until I get my peace back. You can't think clearly without your peace!
2.) Compare the decision to wisdom and common sense. The bible tells you to seek wisdom and common sense! Would it have been common sense to marry a porn addicted gambler? Wisdom to marry someone based on my friend's dream?

Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you.Love her, and she will guard you. Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!And whatever else you do, develop good judgment. If you prize wisdom, she will make you great.Embrace her, and she will honor you. Proverbs 4:6-8NLT

This is a section from Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study!
(Which by the way starts April 9, 2010 for 6 consecutive friday nights)

15 Biblical Signposts the Lord sent the person to you for the purpose of marriage:

I had the first ten of this list in my book Where’s my mate?, but I want to go over it in detail here. After Where’s my mate? was published and I was teaching the bible study for it, the Lord put on my heart that there were at least five more signposts to know whether or not he sent someone so I added them.

Here is a list of questions you need to ask yourself when you do meet someone:

1. Do they put God first in action and not just words?

Someone who is not truly committed to Christ is not someone you want to marry. Listen up! If they can’t keep their commitment to Christ, what make you think they will keep their commitment with you? Just because someone attends church with you, does NOT mean they are in a right relationship with God. Do they obey the bible?

Is it obvious that you put God first? __________________________________

Matthew 7:15,15 (NLT) “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?

2. Do they do the things they say they are going to do? Do their actions line up with their words?

Again, if they can’t keep their word and they have a habit of lying, what makes you think that they are going to keep their marriage vows? Lying goes against the bible and if you marry someone who lies, shame on you. Someone who cannot keep their word is immature and not ready for marriage! DO NOT MARRY SOMEONE WHO HAS A PROBLEM KEEPING COMMITMENTS!

Do you keep your word? Do you practice what you preach? ______________

Romans 1:28-32(NLT) Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy.

Read this next scripture carefully!

He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death." Revelations 21:6-8 (NIV)

I bet you are thinking “Wow Bethany, isn’t that a little harsh?” You have to remember that I did not write it. The Apostle John wrote it. Revelations is a collection of letters given to the Christian churches to OBEY! Therefore, if you are a Christian, the above scripture from Revelations applies to YOU! There are no loopholes just because you call yourself a Christian! If you have been lying, REPENT!

Do you lie? _____________

3. How do they treat singles of the opposite gender who they would not consider dating? This is especially true for men who are visually stimulated. How does he treat women who he thinks are ugly? How does she treat men who are obviously financially wealthy?

You want a person who walks in love. If you are with a person who treats someone who is attractive better than they treat someone who is average, how do you think they are going to treat you when you are old and gravity hits? Or if you are female, after you’ve had a few children?

How about after you are married if they work with someone who is very attractive? Or if someone marries you because you are financially well off, what will happen if the great depression hits and you go bankrupt?

How do you treat singles of the opposite gender who you don’t find attractive physically or financially?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Matthew 22:37-39(NLT) Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

4. Watch what they laugh at. Do they laugh at things they shouldn’t find funny?

I believe what people laugh at reveals the condition of their heart. I have been in movie theaters where the audience laughed at what they should have not found funny. Luke and I have walked out of a comedy show before because of the content. What type of movies and TV shows does the person you are involved with watch? Are they laughing at things that God condemns?

Do you laugh at what you shouldn’t find funny? ________________

Proverbs 14:9 Fools make a mock at sin: but among the righteous there is favour.

5. Do they walk in holiness and refuse to be involved with you sexually until after the wedding?

We have already touched on this subject but if someone really loves you, they will wait. If you have to have sex with someone to get them to marry you, what will you have to do to keep them after the wedding? If someone can’t exercise self control before the wedding, do you really expect them to exercise it after marriage and only stay faithful to you?

Are you willing to remain celibate until you are legally wed? ______________

1 Thessalonians 4:3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:

6. Do they only attend church to impress you?

The person you marry should already have a home church or group that they are associated with. If they are avoiding church, what else are they avoiding? Prayer? Holiness? Studying God’s word? I am a firm believer in having a home church. Now I know we can still go to heaven without having a home church, but I believe that if you attend the church/group God has called you to, your life will be enhanced.

You will receive healing, deliverance and be surrounded by your brothers and sisters. You will be able to grow and mature in the gifts and callings that God has on your life. You can bloom where you are planted. I also believe that my Pastor’s weekly sermons are a direct word from God to me. I believe there is a supernatural, spiritual protection that a pastor has for their sheep. Just make sure you are in the church that God has placed you in.

Hebrews 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

Why do you attend church? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. Who are their best friends? I am not talking about the people they minister to, are aquatinted with, or their blood relatives. I am talking about their close friends with whom they share themselves. Do they avoid deep relationships with godly friends or are they afraid of accountability?

Take a good look at the person’s close friends. Are they godly people? Have you ever heard the saying “birds of a feather flock together?” If the person you have a romantic interest in hangs out on a regular basis with people who get drunk and hang out at clubs, there is a good chance they do too. “Well Jesus hung out with sinners!” is the excuse I mostly hear. He sure did, and every time he did, he passionately preached the gospel to them. So did the Apostle Paul. If your close friendships are with unbelievers, are you passionately preaching the gospel to them? Jesus wasn’t a silent witness around the unsaved.

Are your best friend(s) serving the Lord Jesus Christ? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

1 Corinthians 15:33 (NLT) Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”

8. Have they been faithfully staying out of harmful behavior (sexual sin, excessive amounts of alcohol, drugs, stealing, lying, witchcraft such as horoscopes, Ouija boards, etc.) or do they only go for a season and then fall back into old and destructive habits?

This type of person that continually falls back into bad habits is doubleminded and probably unable to commit. This type of person will also suck you into a vortex of pain and misery. Stay away! If they want help with their problems, they can find someone other than you to assist. Believe me, if someone really wants help, they will do everything possible to get it. Don’t be someone’s crutch. If you are the type of person who is attracted to troubled people, who always seem to need your help, then don’t carry this addiction over when looking for a mate. If you want to take care of needy people, volunteer at a nonprofit organization. Also, this type of person could be suffering with Multiple Personality Disorder from a trauma they suffered. This type of person needs (Godly) professional help and they are NOT ready for marriage!

Do you want to marry someone who creates problems or solves them? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

James 1:8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

9. Do they passionately pursue what they believe the Lord has called them to do?

If you are with someone who is not putting God first, then you are asking for major problems in your marriage. When the endorphins wear off and trouble comes, you will seriously regret your decision. Furthermore, if you are trying to pursue what God has called you to do, and you are married to someone who isn’t, it will eventually drag you down. You will spend a lot of time in your prayer closet begging God to “please do something with him/her!”

Are you passionately pursuing the vision God has place in your heart? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Proverbs 29:18 Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.

10. Do they pursue money, fame, or success or do they seek after the Lord? How do they handle finances?

If a person is putting money above God, then chances are after the honeymoon, they won’t put you or the children first either. They will put their career first and spend nights and weekends away. Are they a good financial manager? Do they run up their credit cards? Debt is no fun. Trust me. I have my own horror stories. In fact, I wrote an excellent book on what the bible says about finances called Where’s my money? I highly suggest you read it.

Do you pursue money, fame or success? How do you handle finances? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

11. God will put supernatural love in that person’s heart for you, and you for them.

Listen to me, marriage isn’t one sided. It will be two of you at that altar. And it is called an altar, because you will be sacrificing your life to each other and to God. However, the person you are interested in, has to have a love for you. You cannot make someone love you. If you manipulate someone into being with you, the relationship will eventually grow sour.

If you read Where’s my mate? then you remember how God supernaturally put love in my heart for Luke. There is a purity to this love. It isn’t lust that came through physical attraction or a big bank account. And ladies, trapping a man into marriage by becoming pregnant out of wedlock is a waste of time. A man marrying out of guilt and obligation will cause him to resent you, not love you.

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:19-23 (NLT)

12. Your relationship together will bear fruit for the Kingdom of God.

Anything God does will produce fruit and marriage is no different. God has a plan and a purpose for marriage, and that is to produce fruit for His kingdom. If your relationship with this person isn’t producing good fruit, then it isn’t from the Lord. And no, it is not your job to drag your beloved to the cross and try to influence them to do right before the Lord. This person will ALREADY be bearing fruit for the kingdom of God and when you marry, the fruit will continue to multiply. Again, don’t waste your time on someone who is not already walking in holiness before the Lord.

James 3:17(NASB) But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.

According to James 3:17, wisdom from God is what? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Did you notice that James said “good fruits” is a product of God’s wisdom? Again, if God has sent you someone, “good fruits” will be there. Read the following scripture from John 15 OUT LOUD before you move on.

John 15:4-6 (KJV) Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.

13. There will be a “pruning off” and a changing of relationships.

Read the following scriptures:

Matthew 19:5-6(KJV) And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Mark 10:6-8(KJV) But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

Guys, you may have to leave some of your buddies behind. If God is moving you into a new season where it is time to start “leaving and cleaving” then go with the flow. Sometimes our friends get jealous or resentful when you start spending more time with your beloved then them. If God is trying to move you into marriage, STOP DRAGGING YOUR FEET and catch the wave of God’s Spirit. Don’t let procrastination and people pleasing habits frustrate a move of God in your life.

14. There will be “wear and tear” on the relationship because two lives are beginning to blend together.

People are messy. Period. When we have been single for a while, and become “set in our ways and schedules” we can’t expect the other person to automatically get in line with our lives. Make sure you show each other respect. Know when there is a real “RED FLAG” in the relationship and when there isn’t.

Examples of RED FLAGS:

Addicted to pornography

Doesn’t attend church because of all the hypocrites

Flirts with your friends and everyone else they think is cute

Is disrespectful towards their parents

Can’t hold down a job

Examples of FALSE RED FLAGS:

Doesn’t like chic flicks

Hates pizza and it is your favorite food

Disagrees with you on who the writer of Hebrews was. You believe it was Paul, and they are convinced it was Peter

Wants to get married on the beach in Cancun when you wanted Hawaii

Faithfully attends a bible believing church, but it’s not your home church

Proverbs 14:4 Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox.

15. There will be a battle in the spirit realm.

Godly marriages produce Godly results. Do you really think Satan is just going to sit back and let you do damage to his kingdom by marrying God’s choice? Get your head out of the clouds. If there was warfare preceding all of your other victories, why would getting married God’s way be any different? Don’t forget to read the scriptures below.

Ephesians 6:11-13(KJV) Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

John 10:10 (KJV) The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

Who was St. Valentine?

2010-02-10T13:50:00.000-08:00

Most singles don't look forward to Valentine's Day. I know I didn't. I remember being stuck at pathetic Valentine's Day parties for singles who couldn't seem to get or keep a date. I'm familiar with that nightmare. I remember one year being so incredibly jealous of my roommate for having a boyfriend one year who took her out on a fancy date, that I spent the night crying! My jealously was very misplaced. My roommate ended up pregnant by this man, and to this day he still doesn't want anything to do with his daughter!

Most Valentine's I would just try to avoid people. I mean, who wants to hang out with a bunch of singles at Taco Cabana who sit around complaining how all "the good ones are taken?" Or watch Pride and Prejudice with a gallon of ice cream?

I mean, who is this St. Valentine anyway and why has he ruined a perfectly good day?

Valentine was a Roman Priest who was martyred for helping Christians. In fact, he was imprisoned for performing Christian weddings! After his arrest, Valentine tried to covert Roman Emperor Claudius II to Christianity. Angry, Emperor Claudius had Valentine stoned and beaten. When that didn't kill him, he was beheaded. Today, Valentine is known in the Catholic Church as Saint Valentine.The feast of St. Valentine (Feb 14) was first established in 496 by Pope Gelasius to honor the many men who were martyred during those times.

*I've personally visited the Basilica di Santa Maria in Rome where St. Valentine is buried. (His skull is on display)*

So the truth is singles, when you are celebrating Valentine's Day, you are actually celebrating the life of a man who stood for the gospel of Christ even though it cost him his life.

Happy St. Valentine's Day!

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study

2010-02-02T11:14:00.000-08:00

I've been praying about hosting another Want to find your mate? Bible Study. I sense a leading to teach a six week course on friday nights starting April 9th at 7pm. Unless something changes, I will probably host it at my home in Cypress, TX. So if you are interested, or know someone who is, email me your email address and I will add it to the evite when I send it out! The Lord revealed to me how to open a "spiritual portal of faith" so that people can start receiving their mates. I plan on creating this atmospere of faith during these six weeks so that singles can receive the mate that God has called them to marry!

**The material covered will NOT be appropriate for children, so if you have children under 15, please don't bring them!**

BethanyKScanlon@gmail.com

Overcoming Disappointments

2010-01-21T19:50:00.000-08:00

When you are waiting, dating and trying to find your perfect mate, you are sure to run into disappointment. I know I did. I remember crying one Valentine's Day because "everyone but me" had a Valentine. Isn't that how you feel sometimes? That you are the only one? I suggest you ditch the self pity now because there are single people all over the world wishing they were happily married. In fact, there are people all over the world right now who are married and very unhappy.

I can't count how many bad dates I've been on. With the exception of Luke, none of my romantic relationships worked out, and there was at least 2 that I thought God had started, but they failed. In retrospect, I can easily see how it wasn't God, but that doesn't negate the fact that I was very hurt and felt like God betrayed me.

Are you struggling with disappointment because of a failed relationship? Do you feel like God has betrayed you? Or maybe you feel like you messed up God's plan.

I don't know your situation, but I do know this. If you allow bitterness, unforgiveness resentment and anger to stay in your heart towards God, yourself or others, it will block you from receiving God's choice. You won't be able to see past your pain. Or you will run off God's choice with your root of bitterness.

Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations.Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience.But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing.James 1:2-4 AMP

Hinderances to receiving your mate

2010-01-01T16:18:00.000-08:00

But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Galatians 5:18 KJV

There are three main hinderances to someone receiving their mate.

1.) Not being completely sold out to the Lord Jesus Christ. "Sold out" means walking holy, and producing fruit for the Kingdom of God.

2.) Not realizing that your battle must first be won in the spirit realm. If you don't win the battle in the spirit realm first, then the only mate you will get is one born of the flesh. And as you know you will have to maintain that relationship in the flesh.

3.) Using your own rules, instead of God's to receive your mate. MOST singles I talk to have their own ideas, that sound good, of how God is going to bring their mate. However, unless God has revealed to you specifically how he is going to do this, then chances are your ideas are not God's. (His thoughts are higher than our thoughts.) Legalism is a hinderance to you recognizing your mate.

Timing

2009-12-29T20:55:00.000-08:00

One of the prayers I pray everyday is that God will order my steps. I want to always be in the right place at the right time.

God had to move me from the church I was attending to a completely different church so I could meet Luke. What if I had been resistant? What if I thought, "No, this is my home church and I am NOT leaving!"

You can't sit around and complain that you haven't met Mr. or Mrs. Wonderful yet if you aren't allowing God to order your steps! I published the following teaching (Before His Throne) in Recognizing Religion, but I think it is also useful concerning receiving God's choice!

Before His Throne

This great dragon—the ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, the one deceiving the whole world—was thrown down to the earth with all his angels. Then I heard a loud voice shouting across the heavens, “It has come at last— salvation and power and the Kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down to earth— the one who accuses them before our God day and night. And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die. Revelations 12:1-9 (NLT)

In the above set of scriptures, who was the “accuser of our brothers and sisters?

How often did the devil accuse our brothers and sisters before God?

How was the devil defeated so that he no longer accused?

One afternoon, in the middle of working on my book, Win Your Battles, it suddenly felt like something was gripping my head. It actually felt like something was railing against my mind. I stopped typing immediately and began to pray. I asked the Lord if I was typing something incorrect.

I got up from the computer and began to walk around my home praying and quoting scripture. Still, nothing changed and I sensed a large amount of confusion. Finally, in exasperation I stood on Hebrews 4:16 and cried out “Father God I come boldly before your throne of grace to obtain mercy and help in my time of need. I need you to tell me right now what is going on!”

Instantly the Lord dropped in my spirit this: “Satan is petitioning me right now for the (He named a big promise Luke and I had been believing God for) not to come to pass. He wants to block it from happening. Do you have anything to say?” I began boldly reminding God of some personal promises he gave me. I spouted out as fast as possible anything I could think of! Then I said. “Father, I’m asking in the name of Jesus Christ that you tell Satan NO!”

As soon as the word NO came out of my mouth, the grip that I felt on my mind snapped off and I heard the spirit of the Lord say “There are two things you can do every day so that Satan doesn’t petition me anymore. Would you like to know what they are?” Of course I immediately answered YES! And He said, “Ask me everyday what you want me to do for you and remind me everyday what I have covenanted with you for.”

After I wrote down the instructions, I returned in complete peace to my computer. As I sat down and began to type, suddenly, I was overwhelmed with a spirit of praise and I began to weep and thank God the battle was won for the promise He had given us.

The next day, when my husband and I were out of town doing research for a novella I was writing called The Prosperity Preacher, I decided to take a nap in our hotel room. While I was resting comfortably with my eyes closed, the Holy Spirit spoke very strongly to my spirit, “Read Psalm 34:7”

I did what he said and the Holy Spirit said that I was going to go through a season in which he showed me scriptures to pray daily for my personal life. So I prayed that scripture over Luke and I and then put my head back down on the pillow.

Then I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Shield of favor.” So again, I sat back up and did a search for that scripture on my phone. It was Psalm 5:12. Then he led me to Psalm 37:6 and I prayed that too.

Later that night, Luke and I went and checked out a bowling alley I was thinking about using for a scene in my novel. As I began to walk into the arcade section, I sensed very strongly the presence of the Lord press against my chest. I quietly asked the Lord what that was and he said “Shield of favor.”

Luke and I pray together every morning so I have a list typed out under the category of “What I want God to do for me” Here is part of that list. We also pray for personal things as well, but these are many of the scriptures we use:

1.) That angels of the Lord surround, guard and defend us.

Psalm 34:7 (NLT) For the angel of the LORD is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him.

2.) God will cause our innocence to radiate like the dawn and the justice of our causes to shine like the noonday sun.

Psalm 37:6 (NLT) He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

3.) The Lord will surround us with a shield of favor.

Psalm 5:12 For thou, LORD, wilt bless the righteous; with favour wilt thou compass him as with a shield.

4.) God will place His full and complete armor on us.

Ephesians 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

5.) The Lord will order our steps

Psalm 37:23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.

6.) We commit all of the work that we have to do that day and ask that the Lord would establish our thoughts in those areas.

Proverbs 16:3 Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.

7.) We ask that the Oil of Unity is poured out over us. Our marriage in particular.

Psalm 133:1,2 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments;

8.) God will make our enemies be at peace with us.

Proverbs 17:7 When a man's ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.

The Story of Job

I also have a list typed out with personal promises, (covenants) that God has given me and I daily remind him of those too.

If you read the story of Job, you will find out how even though Job was in right standing with God, and had done nothing wrong, Satan petitioned to take away some of Job’s promises too.

In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job.This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. Job 1:1 (NIV)

One day the angels came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came with them. The LORD said to Satan, "Where have you come from?" Satan answered the LORD, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it." Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil." "Does Job fear God for nothing?" Satan replied. "Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face." The LORD said to Satan, "Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger." Then Satan went out from the presence of the LORD.

Job 1:6-12 (NIV)

Unfortunately, Job’s wife and friends came along to give their opinion on the situation and they all gave the wrong answer. Go to God first!

When Job finally prayed to the Lord and reminded Him of his right standing, that is when Satan had to back off and God gave Job twice as much as he had before!

What you know, I also know; I am not inferior to you. But I desire to speak to the Almighty and to argue my case with God. You, however, smear me with lies; you are worthless physicians, all of you! If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom. Hear now my argument; listen to the plea of my lips. Will you speak wickedly on God's behalf?

Will you speak deceitfully for him? Will you show him partiality? Will you argue the case for God? Would it turn out well if he examined you? Could you deceive him as you might deceive men? He would surely rebuke you if you secretly showed partiality. Would not his splendor terrify you? Would not the dread of him fall on you? Your maxims are proverbs of ashes; your defenses are defenses of clay. "Keep silent and let me speak; then let come to me what may. Why do I put myself in jeopardy and take my life in my hands? Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him; I will surely defend my ways to his face. Indeed, this will turn out for my deliverance, for no godless man would dare come before him! Listen carefully to my words; let your ears take in what I say. Now that I have prepared my case, I know I will be vindicated. Job 13:2-8 (NIV)

After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before. All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the LORD had brought upon him, and each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring. Job 42:10,11 (NIV)

The Holy Spirit is our Helper

2009-12-15T09:21:00.000-08:00

Did you know the Holy Spirit can and will and wants to lead you to your mate? The bible says that the Holy Spirit is our helper. In fact, it was his job to bring order to the earth. God spoke the word, and the Holy Spirit brought it to pass.

Did you know you can talk directly to the Holy Spirit? He is God. Directly ask the Holy Spirit to bring order right now to you getting married and meeting your mate. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you who your mate is! God cannot expect you to marry his choice if he doesn't reveal to you who his choice is!

Read the following Scriptures out loud!!!!

And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; John 14:16 (When I get upset about something, I ask the Holy Spirit to comfort me. Within seconds, I sense peace!)

When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. He will bring me glory by telling you whatever he receives from me. All that belongs to the Father is mine; this is why I said, ‘The Spirit will tell you whatever he receives from me.’ John 16:13-15 NLT ( Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you to your mate! Ask the Holy Spirit to tell you about your future!)

What if...?

2009-11-30T05:20:00.000-08:00

The Lord woke me up early this morning, about 2 or 3 hours before I normally get up. He wanted me to write a blog to you singles and he wanted the following scriptures used. So whoever this teaching is for, may it resonate within you and cause you to draw into a closer relationship with Jesus Christ!

Please read all of the following scriptures OUT LOUD and reconize that ALL of them are from the New Testament. Meaning they apply to YOU!

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4

Here is the same scripture in the Amplified Version:

Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous. Hebrews 13:4

Words of Jesus:

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. Matthew 5:27-29 NKJV

Away then with sinful, earthly things; deaden the evil desires lurking within you; have nothing to do with sexual sin, impurity, lust and shameful desires; don’t worship the good things of life, for that is idolatry. God’s terrible anger is upon those who do such things. Colossians 3:5-6 TLB

In the bible, the words adultery and adulterous mean the same as what we call fornication, or "sex before marriage."

Hebrew—zanah, zaw-naw’; means adultery, fornication, and idolatry.

Greek—porneia, por-ni’-ah; adultery, incest, fornication, and idolatry.

I want you to know first of all, that I practiced what I preached. Luke and I waited until our wedding night. In fact, our first kiss was three weeks after we were engaged. We only kissed a few times and then Luke said. "I don't want to kiss you again until we are pronounced man and wife."

We kept it holy.

I'm warning you. If you have sex before marriage, even though God has forgiven you, there are consequences that are far reaching. You have now planted seeds of rebellion and lust that will come to fruition. Not to mention you opened a legitimate door for the devil to come and infest you with his junk. Even if you repented, the demons don't necessarily leave. I remember praying for a lady who I had led to Christ. She was involved sexually with a man at the time and after the Holy Spirit convicted her, she broke it off. Later, when I was praying for her, over and over the Holy Spirit kept telling me she had a demon of homosexuality. When I asked her about it, she said she had never engaged in that type of behavior. Then the Holy Spirit spoke this to me, "When she had sex out of wedlock she opened the door for the devil to bring in any type of demon he wanted to." My friend repented and we got rid of the demon. I want you to know that later she wrote a mate list. She has now been married to a perfect match to that list for several years and they "waited before marriage."

If someone does not have the self discipline to wait until your wedding night, they may not have the discipline not to cheat on you. EVERY SINGLE Christian divorce that I know of, when I have privately asked them if they had sex before marriage. The answer has been YES. And they thought that since they repented, there would be no natural consequences.

There are. The bible says you will reap what you sow. The bible says that God judges the whoremongers and adulterous. The bible says God's anger is upon the sexually immoral. And this is the NEW TESTAMENT!

And the word marriage means that covenant has been made in front of witnesses. It does not mean engagement which means a promise to marry.

And, you will not be able to tell your children that "mommy and daddy waited." and they should too. No, you will tell your children that they should wait even though you didn't. You will be considered a hypocrite. Not to mention the generational curse you invoked will more than likely fall on them. Once Satan gets a foothold, he is very hard to get rid of. I know this personally.

If someone will sleep with you before marriage, they are not ready for marriage. They do not have the maturity and a proper maturity in Christ to sustain the marriage covenant.

I want you to know that in Luke and I's marriage, Luke has had several women boldly come after him. One lady sat in his office and outright asked him to sleep with her. I got fired from a job once when I refused to respond to one of my married coworkers advances. And he had met Luke and knew we were Christians.
Another lady came after my husband for three years at work. He would come home on lunch break and we would have to pray against that spirit in the woman. I even took her out to lunch and tried to witness to her. This woman was relentless and Luke was flat out embarrassed about her advances. He told her numerous times to back off. She was a coworker and his boss thought that it was ok to cheat on your spouse and couldn't understand why Luke wasn't interested since the lady was pretty. What if Luke didn't have any discipline? What if I didn't?

Singles, look into your future. Sex before marriage is not worth it. Period. You will regret it. Keep it holy between you and your beloved.

When you have sex outside of wedlock, you are ABUSING your body. It is a form of SELF HATRED and REBELLION. You have defiled the temple of the living God. And in the NEW TESTAMENT look what happens to those who have defiled God's temple:

Read OUT LOUD:

Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.
1 Corinthians 3:16-17 KJV

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 1 Corinthians 6:18-19 KJV

If I've come off a little cranky, well my sleep was interrupted! So whoever you are and whoever this is for, know that God loves you enough to wake me up and INSIST that this blog gets written. So please print this out and stick it somewhere. Somewhere you can look at it over and over again knowing that God is trying to save your life!

If you have been in sexual sin, here is the prayer of repentence:

Heavenly Father, forgive me of having sex before marriage. Forgive me of adultery. Forgive me of my rebellion and idolatry. Forgive me for putting the desires of a human being above your desire for me. Cleanse me with the blood of your son Jesus Christ. Give me the grace not to sin against you. In Jesus name, Amen.

Please read the following scriptures out loud and very carefully:

For every man shall bear his own burden. Let him that is taught in the word communicate unto him that teacheth in all good things. Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith. Galatians 6:5-10

I know as Christians we like to take the “fun” scriptures and apply them to our lives, but what about the “not so nice” ones? The apostle Paul wrote this letter to the Galatians.

The Galatian church was born again, water baptized and Holy Spirit filled. So, we can rightfully say that the same principles of “reaping and sowing” spoke about by Paul, apply to us too. We like to stand on scriptures, sow money and other “good seeds” fully expecting a harvest. As we should, but what about all of those “bad seeds” that you sowed? I bet you think that they suddenly disappeared when you became “born again” right? Wrong.

Spiritually you have been forgiven of your mistakes. However, God put certain principles into being over 6000 years ago on this earth. So just because you have been forgiven, doesn’t mean that there isn’t a natural reaping process. A prime example of this is all of the prisoners who are in jail that become Christians while they are there.

They still have to serve their time, or sometimes in the case of murder, receive the death penalty. Now when these prisoners reach heaven, they have been forgiven and covered with the blood of Jesus so they are granted entrance. But, while they are on earth, they have to reap the corruption they have sown. How about gluttony? And I know this sin well. You repented of gluttony; however you are still in the natural carrying the extra weight and possibly the illness that sometimes comes with obesity. Are you catching on here?

When I was married the first time, I prayed and prayed for my husband. I had been born again, baptized and spirit filled. However, even after all of my prayers and spiritual warfare, my husband decided to cheat on me repeatedly. I cried and asked “Why God Why?” Do you know what He said to me? This is what He spoke to my spirit. “You brought it (the adultery) on yourself. I am not mocked, whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. When you committed fornication, you sowed a seed of adultery into your marriage. Now you are watching that seed come to fruition.” My first husband and I had lived together before marriage.

Now I had repented, but that didn’t stop the natural reaping process on my sin. God considers it adultery towards Him when you have sex before marriage. Several years later after talking to my friend about this, the Lord spoke this to my spirit: “If you ask me to stop the reaping process I will.” And I remembered the scripture in John 14:13-14 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.

Shortly afterwards, I asked God to stop the reaping process on sexual sin in my life (by this time I had been faithfully married to my current husband for over seven years) and immediately I sensed a “snap” in my spirit and joy began to well up inside of me. Later that evening, my husband Luke and I prayed and asked the Holy Spirit to reveal to us any past sins that we needed the reaping process stopped on. He brought quite a few things to our hearts including strife and unforgiveness.

Here is a general prayer to stop the reaping process, but you do need to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you anything specific.

Father God, please forgive me of all of my sins including _________. I ask that you stop the reaping process on all of these past sins including _________. In Jesus’ name I ask. AMEN

Can women ask men out on a date?

2009-11-29T18:50:00.000-08:00

My immediate answer to this is "Yes!"

A lot of Christians quote this scripture:

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,and he receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

And use it to argue that it is the man's job to pursue. However, Adam never pursued Eve and Eve never pursued Adam. No where in the New Testament does it say whose job it is to pursue who. In reality, it is a cultural bias that the man must pursue.

Now being female, I love the white knight idea. But, in reality, some men are freaked out about what to do when it comes to asking a woman out. They are afraid she will say no or get offended or talk about him behind his back. Why? Because what does happen when you turn a man down? You get on the phone with your girlfriend and laugh behind his back! What if the shoe was on the other foot!

And....many women....who are probably still single....INSIST that the man jump through multiple hoops and put up with their rejection, pouting and stupid petty behavior to "catch" them. How silly is this? I have talked to many men. They don't like for a woman to desperately throw themselves at them, but no man I know seems to mind if a woman asks him if he would like to "get a cup of coffee" with her.

I mean, aren't we adults? So women, if you've had your eye on a wonderful single Christian man, befriend him. Don't be so legalistic! See if he wants to hang out some time!!!!

Common Misconception:

2009-11-27T19:01:00.000-08:00

Question: If God put us together, then why is everything so hard?

Answer: Unfortunately, people are people who come with quirks and differences. I have had the great privilege of watching God put people together supernaturally many times. MOST of the time, it is a bumpy road. MOST of the time one of the two people is very resistant because either they are afraid of making a mistake, or one of their friends doesn't approve. Or they are under the misconception that "God doesn't work that way" since the future spouse didn't arrive they way they thought they should. One of the other mistakes I see is that if the relationship isn't a bowl of cherries the whole time then the mistake is made that "If this was God, we would get along better."

I had just finished yelling at Luke for about 45 minutes before he proposed. In fact, we fought most of our friendship and almost the entire engagement. We are both bossy and I don't like being told what to do. Luke doesn't either. He would boss me around and I would tell him to back off.We fought our first year of marriage and most of the second. Our first several years of marriage were very financially difficult too.
And I assure you, if you've read our testimonies in Where's my mate? no one can deny that God put us together.

You have to realize that the spirit world is very real and when Satan sees God moving, he will try to stop it. He will throw fiery darts of strife and division. Jealousy, anger, parent's disapproval, etc.... As long as you know that you've heard from God, keep moving forward! Fight the good fight of faith.

Prudent

2009-11-24T18:23:00.000-08:00

A simple man believes anything,but a prudent man gives thought to his steps. Proverbs 14:15 NIV

The word “simple” is the Hebrew word pĕthiy and it means “naivete, foolish.”

The phrase “gives thought” is the Hebrew word biyn, meaning “discern, understand, consider, perceive.”

The word “prudent” in this scripture is the Hebrew word aruwm which means “subtle, shrewd, crafty, sly, sensible.”

How prudent are you? Before you make a decision, do you examine all the facts? Do you seek God until you get peace in your spirit man about which way to go? Several times in my life I have met people that seemed like good upstanding citizens, but for some reason I would get an uneasiness in my spirit about them. Sure enough, if I listened to that inner witness, I would avoid trouble. If not, I would walk right into a mess! Have you ever been in a situation where in the natural everything looks and smells good, but your “spirit senses” are screaming RUN!!!!

I remember when Luke was working for a company and at the Christmas party, I met the man who was about to become Luke’s new boss. Replacing the one who was moved to another part of the company. When I shook his hand, I got the worst feeling inside that this man was bad news. Luke was so excited about the man, thinking he was such “a nice guy”, that I didn’t say anything. And at the time, Luke wouldn’t have believed me anyway. He would have dismissed what I said. Sure enough, this man made my husband’s life a living hell at work. Stealing from him and eventually firing him for no reason whatsoever. If we had been prudent, Luke could have immediately started looking for another job before he was fired. Instead, he spent several months out of work. I could go on with stories like this too! I remember talking to a man (before Luke) that wanted to date me. When I sat down next to him, the worst feeling rose up in my spirit man. However, the man was handsome, made great money and seemed to like me. I ignored the inward witness and dated him. Not only did this man eventually break my heart, but I sank into a deep depression thinking I was worthless etc.

What is God’s inward intuition inside of you saying?

Check out Where's my wife?

Where's my wife?

2009-11-21T06:39:00.000-08:00

The book is ready! Where's my wife?

The Kindle version is ready too! Where's my wife? Kindle

Whoo hoo!

New Where's my mate? Testimony Matthew's Story*

2009-11-16T09:55:00.001-08:00

Hi, I'm Matthew* and a guy. I found out about Where’s my Mate? via a gal friend from a large Houston church where we both attended as singles. Myself and this gal were and are good friends still, she having never been married but quite ready to do so for years. (She is Melodie* from Melodie’s* Story) I was also very ready to be married, having been widowed as a Christian for 12 years.

Melodie* kept reminding and encouraging me (and others) to actually go to Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study. Finally, after I went online and read a synopsis of Bethany’s viewpoint on finding a mate, I was determined to go and try it. I found I very much agreed with Bethany’s idea that it is not usually God's will for most of us ready-to-marry singles to just patiently wait around for years for our mate to finally "come along." In fact, that there was something quite definitely wrong with this picture, or at least unnecessary. Bethany believed that you should be much more proactive in prayer and expectation for your mate!

Well, I would like to be able to say that I was a super-attendee to all the studies Bethany provided, and I was strong in faith regarding praying for and believing God for my mate. But I wasn't. Actually, I only made it to several of their powerful studies, and I think Bethany may have only prayed for me about finding my mate one time at the last study. And that was a group prayer! But I clearly remember thinking in my mind and realizing in my spirit that Bethany very much believed in the effectiveness and results of her prayers for ones mate. Actually, she warned us that we should be serious about really wanting a mate because her prayers got answers in this area!

Well, "deep calls to deep" and spirit calls to spirit. Bethany's spirit "set out the offer," and with as much honesty as I could, my spirit responded to her faith and earnestness. At that prayer, I did not so much have faith in my faith, as much as rather having faith in her spirit-confidence that this prayer would produce answers. I truly wanted to be a part of that prayer and thus, "put myself in agreement with and under the blessing of that prayer of faith for our mates." I gave it my "heart amen," and went on my way.

I suppose what changed after Bethany’s prayer, was really what changed in me, or perhaps really a clear and full recognition of that change. I had been a single widower for 12 some years at that point but still had wanted up to that point to marry and have children again. I still had my health and youth, or at least enough youthfulness most those years. It was quite true that my genetics had been kind to me. But after time had gone by, I realized that my desire for children had pretty much depleted. This was a personal surprise of sorts because I had yearnings for children that may have rivaled that of a woman. But, the change was true and unmistakable.

Since it truly was now not important to me, this had consequences. In very practical terms what this change meant was that female friends and acquaintances I would have never considered dating were now "datable and considerable" potential partners. I had up to that point made a personal point of never dating someone I wouldn't have potentially considered marrying. But now either being past the desire or ability to bear children, it did not matter. Ann* was someone who I had been acquainted with and been around for some 16 months or so, and had over that time become aware of her important personality values that I valued. I realized as well that she had over that same time decided that I was a person who she felt would make a good friend and someone to get to know.

Things that mattered to me greatly were that she was dedicated to our same church, that she was plugged into serving in some way, and that she had a heart for people. That she could be a leader but she could also be a follower. There's places and times in life for both. I realized and made sure I was attracted to her personality, her spirituality, and yes physically. What sense would it make for god to "put us together" with someone that we were not physically attracted to as well? Not smart. But guess what? We've got way-smart Father God!

So, time went on, and not very much of it to be honest, Ann* and I grew in love and I determined to ask her to marry me. She said yes. There are two more things I want you to consider however. One, I had known Ann* for about two years by the time I proposed to her. I clearly knew her value. I knew a depth of her quality. I knew her dedication and life-direction, so to speak. I did not just "leap off a cliff" when I asked for her hand in marriage. And of course other factors and previous teachings that guided my ultimate thoughts and actions, not to mention the intervention and divine interventions by The Father & Holy Spirit! The relevant point here being that, Luke and Bethany were truly one of those "connections," and Ann* and I will always appreciate them for it!

Where's My Wife? #7 Luke's Perspective

2009-11-07T15:01:00.000-08:00

Hi Guys, this is my last blog for this topic, so I will be wrapping up a couple of thoughts and drive home one final point.

First of all, a little point about how far I have come.

When I was single, I was totally exasperated with what a "big deal" people made out of getting married. I could not for the life of me understand why women sat around and pored over wedding dresses, etc. I saw guys everywhere soooo stressed out about whether or not to marry their girlfriends, or whether or not to court. I thought the whole thing was so stupid and a waste of energy.

I litterally prayed "God, I think this whole marriage thing is not for me, so I want to be the last guy in the room to know. I want it so obvious that everyone else knows, and then I find out."

Unfortunately, God answered that prayer. My wife was so mad when I told her later I had prayed that. Contrast that to day's like today when Holy Spirit let me know I needed to get Bethany outside and go walk with her at the park. Before we went, she was having a rough day. When we left, she felt better, having taken her mind off of things and getting a new strength to pray. She did a great job of shaking off that discouragement. It was Holy Spirit who knew she needed to get outside. It was Him who led me.

Now, I laugh at myself because I have been a guy who didn't know God and didn't go to church. I had my share of girlfriends, every one of which was bad for her and for me. Then, I got saved. I barely knew who God was, so I avoided the major sins, for the most part. I really tried to do the right thing, but I still didn't really have a relationship with God. Now, years later, I finally am coming to understand that knowing God is from the inside - out.

What? I mean that knowing God isn't a list of rules. It's about having a friend and Lord Jesus Christ, it's about having a wonderful Father, and a constant comforter, counselor and helper in Holy Spirit.

It's about recognizing when and how God is leading you, and doing those things. It's not about trying/avoiding certain behaviors. If you live your life in a compartmentalized fashion, you need to seek God as a person, and lay aside the lifeless religion and fleshly effort that won't yield you any more mature in twenty years than you are right now.

The reason this is so important in Christian Dating is because knowing God and following His leading is the only way to a fruitful life. The abundant life God promises us throughout the word (old and new testament) is founded on knowing God through His written and spoken word. That being said, here is the last relationship tip:

When She is saying no but means Yes

At some point, all women are the same. They will need to be rescued. This need will happen over and over throughout their lives. They need someone to prod them forward, even though they are trying to push you away. I could list a bunch of examples, but here are a couple of basics:

1. When no means yes - In general, a woman will be way ahead of you in the relationship. But there will be a few times she is not. In almost all cases, it will be when you ask her to go deeper in relationship. This may seem wierd, but she may have tried to prepare for that moment and spend about 5 hours reviewing what she would say in that particular moment, but it is when you ask her that she may be making that final decision.

Rule #1 - make sure she is in a safe place. "How do you do that?" you ask - I mentioned earlier that it is your job to be the one pursuing the relationship and sending consistent messages on how you feel. She needs to feel safe in the frequent and consistent messaging that you want to be with her and she is special.

You will find yourself in a situation more than once when you want yes but she is saying no. In those situations, I wait on Holy Spirit internally, praying to myself, seeking inspiration that will help her move forward. God will give you the words or actions that will unlock her emotions and help her through that time.

Body language to help you recognize - when she tries to pretty herself up, especially when she is moving her hair out of her face or flipping her hair. Those are signs that she is trying to be pretty.

What to watch out for - plunging necklines and high skirts. If she is trying to win you over with her sex, then you need to back off. If she is that immature, you are walking into years worth of problems that you can't even imagine. I promise you, what looks good today will never look that good again. Run Forest!!!!

Rule #2 - Girls don't care about games. Honestly. The guy who doesn't play games and is just straightforward will shock them. If you simply let them know you think they are special and they are even halfway open to dating you/getting to know you, they will pay attention. I know you hear a lot about it in movies, etc., but behind the scenes, they just want someone to love them. It's really pretty simple.

Summary

Talking to girls is pretty simple, as long as you are honest with yourself and with them. IF you follow God hard, Holy Spirit will lead you to a beautiful girl who will love you for who you are and love God with all her heart. You will complement each other and God will always provide for you.

Where's My Wife? Blog # 6 Luke's perspective

2009-11-02T18:52:00.000-08:00

Abusive Women

Let's pretend you a guy who doesn't get a lot of dates, or you don't find yourself being the magnet.

Slow down, and take things easy. God has a beautiful wife for you that you will enjoy and who will enjoy you. I say slow down, because you need to pay attention to the road signs along the way, especially the ones that should be throwing up red flags. Even if you are a guy who could date every night of the week, you need to get saved, and then slow down. You're moving too fast. If you miss the signs the Holy Spirit is throwing up to you, there is a wall ahead with your name on it - (MUD).

Nobody is perfect

First of all, don't expect to find a perfect woman. She will have her own areas that she deals with, and if she is from the Lord, both of you will have the grace to understand and deal with it.

However, you need to recognize abusive behavior for what it is. At no time is it ever acceptable to put up with consistent, abusive behavior.

I was going to make a list, but there are people and books out who are so much better at that than I, so I will just tell you. Go buy anything by Cloud from the series of books called Boundaries. Don't go crazy with this stuff, because it can make you crazy trying to stare at all of your flaws and hers. That is not the intention of the books or of this blog.

However, there is certain behavior that is abusive that is sufficient enough of a red flag that you should seriously consider walking away from the relationship. Especially if you are a "nice guy", you need to be ready to confront abusive behavior and walk away. Your life and calling are worth it.

Examples

I'm not going to define abusive other than it abuses you and your relationship with God. Intimidation is a biggie. Lust shown in looking at other men/women, deep insecurity that causes them to lie, etc..

Most of all, they say they are a Christian, but they aren't really all that interested in knowing Him. If they will sleep with you before marriage, that is showing such a lack of the fear of God, you should run and never look back. (Fear of God is the beginning of Wisdom - hence, if they don't fear God, then there is no wisdom from God in them and every decision will be incorrect in you life - you don't want to ride that roller coaster.)

You want I should wack 'em? (No Mr. Mafia dude, just walk into the relationship with your eyes open, here's how...)

In your list - you need to determine up front what you will not tolerate. You need to know that going in. That way when it happens, you are more likely to see it. Above all, stay grounded in your relationship with God being #1, otherwise you won't ever hear the Holy Spirit sounding the alarm, and you will walk right into the arms of the potentially the worst nightmare you have ever known.

Honesty

If you do see problem behavior then you need to confront the behavior (notice I said "problem", meaning there is potential for a fix - I'm not referring to the knee-jerk "let me call you a cab" kind of abusive behavior and block her number from your cell).

Ahh, confrontation. My favorite (not). FYI - I have rarely ever seen a woman actually apologize for any wrong on her part. I don't know why that is true, but it sure seems to be true.

If you want to find out what makes her tick, wait for the Holy Spirit to bring up a situation in which she is wrong, and ask her about it. Watch carefully, because you just got front row seats to finding out who she is.

There is a passage that talks about a prostitute's attitude in Proverbs. She will whore with a man (eating the fruit), and then wipe her mouth (take a guess), and say she didn't do anything wrong. She will bold face lie about being wrong. She will be so convincing, that you will think you were wrong in your estimate of her behavior. That is witchcraft, and the long term results of that behavior will be very damaging to you and everyone you know.

I'm not saying you want a woman whom you can correct. Honestly, the Holy Spirit is the One who does that best, but you defintely want a woman who will listen.

If she unleashes on you or gets angry, you might as well walk away. It is likely that her behavior is deeply rooted. She needs to know that she can't pull that with you or God. You need to set boundaries and have real limits to what you will take. Mind you - this exercise is not meant to be a control maneuver. If you use it that way, you will get exactly what you deserve. However, you both need to be able to clearly articulate where you have a problem, and the other party has enough respect for you and fear of God to listen attentively and take the matter before God in their own prayer closet.

The truth is, they can't fix the behavior themselves. God has to heal them. Please don't try to help.

In this life, a relationship is a two-person agreement thing. Really, it's a three person agreement thing with the Holy Spirit/Jesus/Father God over you both.

Summing up

Have limits, lead the relationship into mutual respect and fear of God in which you both listen to one another when things are good and when disagreement arises. Work through the disagreement - there could be gold there, you just have to dig for it! If you found out you were dating Dracula, then ditch the relationship and don't look back. God will send someone better!

Where's My Wife? Blog #5 Luke's Perspective

2009-11-02T18:20:00.000-08:00

Chasing a woman

How does this work when you are a beliver? As I have already said in a previous post, there isn't a woman alive who doesn't want to be chased and who doesn't want the Prince Charming to come swooping in to save the day.

Unfortunately, none of us feel like we are Prince Charming.

However, God is, and he is sending YOU!

(so does this mean I get a white horse and cool swords and stuff???) Nope, not really.

Cowboy UP!

This does mean, that God will equip you to be some woman's Prince Charming, you just need to have a solid foundation of a relationship with God, and He will take care of the rest.

Heb. 3:10 "And so I was provoked (displeased and sorely grieved) with that generation, and said, They always err and are led astray in their hearts, and they have not perceived or recognized My ways and become progressively better and more experimentally and intimately acquainted with them."

When pursuing a woman, you seek to find ways to please her. You pay attention to what she likes, and you make your overtures to her very clear. This is a picture of how you should always be treating the Holy Spirit.

Out of the fruit of your relationship with Holy Spirit, He will guide you into all truth, including, how to woo her heart. After all, He created her, He knows what She likes and what will touch her heart.

I'll be your huckleberry... (this is a guy thing, you ladies just wouldn't understand)

So now you are dating/courting/whatever the flavor of the month christian relationship ...

It's going to be important to find out who she is. I have already said you need to get to know her, but all the while leaning on Holy Spirit to show you the truth. She can put on her best make-up, laugh at all your dumb jokes and do the damsel-in-distress manuever all she wants, but the Holy Spirit will know the score.

You want Him to guide you throughout the entire process of getting to know her, and her getting to know you. The reason I listed Heb. 3:10 is because of the experimentation element to a relationship. By the way, I am absolutely not referring to sex or drugs here. I am referring to going out on a limb and setting up wholesome experiences that you two can share together to discover how both of you will react in a given situation.

During your life, you should never stop pursuing your wife/fiance/girlfriend or the Holy Spirit. Let me say it again, if you put God first, everything will follow suit. Through your relationship with God, He will guide you into experimenting new things to please her.

I completely glorifies God when two believers choose to follow Him and submit their relationship and eventually their marriage to Him. He loves it and He will always promote His will. He will guide you into new things. Things you haven't done before to get her attention, ways of making your feelings known, ways of showing her who you are as a person.

More than anything, she wants to share love with you. If you lead the relationship placing a relationship with God first, she will probably do the same, and you will both be blessed for it.

Basics

I mentioned in an earlier post that you should put together a list. I mean that very seriously. Through your relationship with God, you should have a very clear idea of what you want in a woman, or what the basic attributes (or better yet, specific attributes) God has for you in your wife. Once you get those attributes, don't date/court/etc. anything but those attributes (within reason). That means if you find out on date #2 that she isn't what you want, and it's a really important thing like she doesn't want a big family and you do, then it is time to respectfully change the dynamic of the relationship and part on great terms. You guys aren't looking for the same thing, and the big deals need to remain a big deal because they will surface later.

Small things - your favorite color is blue and hers is green - not a big deal

She wants a dog and you want a cat - get both, again, not a big deal

She wants to be a missionary and you feel called to serve in corporate America, that is a big deal, and you guys need to talk that through.

Money

She came from money, and you didn't. (or Visa/Versa) - you guys will need to talk this through as well. I guarantee you, if one of you came from money, there will be some messages in the back of one of your heads. Those goals in life need to be vetted before you ever get married. If one of you feels strongly about being wealthy and wants to put that as a priority while the other one doesn't, you will have some heated discussions there. Please make sure to put those things out on the table and reach real, honest, agreement.

I have known of great people that I loved dearly when they were young, but when things got out of balance because of money later on, they got a divorce. You can't do that. You shouldn't do that, so please, have that discussion.

Another version of Money: You are a guy and you have money. In fact, you've got lots of it with great prospects of keeping up that pace. Dude - you have a serious challenge in front of you. You will have to lean entirely on the Holy Spirit who is actually called to be your wife and avoid the dozens of women that will throw themselves at you to just get you in bed, get knocked up, and guilt you into marriage. It happens everyday - don't be a statistic.

Honestly, you have no more challenge than any of the rest of us, because the only way any of us will win is by trusting God, but if you have even half your teeth and a reasonable toupe and a huge bank roll - you will have more opportunity than most to screw up your life. Please be careful. That probably means having two cars - one you drive with and one you date with. If you use money to catch a woman or impress a woman, then that will be the foundation of your relationship, and you had it coming. Don't flaunt your money. God has a plan for you and your money. Submit all to Him, and He will lead you into something that brings you great joy. Share that joy with her and watch how she reacts.

Life Dreams/Goals

You guys seriously need to talk through you life dreams and visions. If the relationship is born of God, most likely, you will have life goals that at least compliment, if not fit together beautifully. If you guys see yourselves going in different directions, you should probably start heading in those directions now, because if you wait till later, most likely one of you will become the alpha dog and the other will squash their own dreams, and never feel satisfied and then ultimately begin to resent the alpha dog.

You need to man up and have these discussions for her benefit and yours. I don't care if she is smokin' hot, you must be honest.

Along those lines, my wife has met numerous women who could be models but their husbands who used to chase them no longer even pay attention to them. At some point, one or both of those people didn't place Holy Spirit first (God), and they have not only lost their first love (Jesus), but they lost all of their other love along the way. Even if she is smokin' hot, that won't mean a thing during trials. Be with her for the right reasons. By all means, be attracted to her, but the foundation must be correct or the house will fall.

If you think back to high school, you look at where people are now, and most of the time you will be surprised at where everyone ended up. The same is true of life now. It's hard to know how people will behave when things go south. They don't even know.

As best as you can, while getting to know someone and having fun with someone, be patient and wait for Holy Spirit to let you know when to have those conversations. He will make the process easy, and He will uncover the truth.

Be bold and be courageous. Submit the relationship to God and ask the real questions you have in your heart, trusting the Holy Spirit to show you which questions to ask. He will guide you into all truth!!!

Where's my wife? Blog #4 Luke's Persective

2009-11-01T21:35:00.000-08:00

I will start with a scripture you have heard a thousand times probably, but hopefully with a fresh message.

Gen. 2:18 - "Now the Lord God said, it is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be along; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him."

Now here is another scripture that we need to always look at.

Rom. 12: 1-3 - "I appeal to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship. (2) Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customer], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

That's a mouthful I know, but in this sound-bite age, we Christians need to still spend time chewing on the word (because that's the only way we will ever get our minds renewed) so we can have a clue what the right decision will be!

In these two passages of scripture, we find a few truths, the sum of which will lead you into a life filled with better opportunities, more joy and a wonderful relationship with not only your spouse but also your God.

1. It was God's idea for man to get hitched. The issue that needed to be solved was a relationship. Adam needed someone who would be a compliment to him throughout his life.

As one who is married, I can tell you that after being married for a couple of years, I have a hard time remembering what it was like when I was single. Bethany is now part of who I am. The line of where she stops and I start is fuzzy, and it wouldn't ever be right for her not to be a part of my life. That is because it was God who ordained us to get married. It was a supernatural event in a very real sense of the word.

What this means to you: when it is time for you to get married, or if you find yourself wanting to get married, know that God has a woman perfectly suited for you. Mrs. Right does actually exist. Here is where it get's interesting. I can tell you the moment I fell in love with Bethany, and when she fell in love with me. It was a process, or yet better said, and equipping, of God preparing each of us for the other.

I believe God, who steps into and out of time, knowing the end from the beginning, knows the purposes He has for people and the opportunities they will have in their lives to agree with His will. He knows what choices a prospective mate will have in her/his life, and He knows He will give them grace to make the right decision.

That means, there probably isn't just one woman in the world for you, but there definitely is a woman God intends to equip to become the one woman for you. This is my perspective, I don't have scripture on that viewpoint, but that seems to be true based on my current life experience and the general principals of the Word.

Therefore: when it's time to get married, you have a job to do.

You need to really focus on Rom. 12:1-3. You need a relationship with God. You need to know Him, and you need to agree with Him as He works in your life.

Spiritual Things

OK guys (and ladies), your relationship had better be a match made in Heaven, or you are setting yourselves up for hell on earth. (Cute, but it’s not really a joke, unfortunately).

In our western church, I have seen a general trend of "Christians" methodically removing all supernatural interaction with God out of the equation. Either because of ignorance, or not wanting to do what some nut-job did, or it just seemed weird. God is into what He is doing now. The Pharisees were a people whose lives were completely devoted to God. We give them a hard time now, but even though they were evil at the core, they still chose to be a priest over some other vocation. How many of us would make the same mistake and do so everyday because what God is doing doesn't conform to our way?

It seems to me that God started the whole "supernatural" thing - just look back a couple of verses in Genesis where God formed man from the dust of the earth, but then He breathed "Spirit" and "breath" into him. What about when you came to know Jesus? Was your life markedly different? Did you feel "clean" on the inside? Did you encounter the loving God who knows you by name and is love?

Sadly, the bible warns us to stay away from "Christians" who hold to a form of godliness (go to church, pray, read bible, even do bible things like bible studies, small groups, etc) but deny His power. Power could be defined as doing what Jesus did (I know, call me crazy)

Matt. 11:5 "The blind receive ther sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed (by healing) and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up and the poor have good news (the Gospel) preached to them.

That was the proof that Jesus gave to John the Baptist when John wanted to know that if Jesus was the Messiah. Jesus didn't tell John "Yes I am, you saw the dove!", Jesus demonstrated his fruit. Your marriage and successful life is also to be filled with Fruit.

By now, I've probably upset a number of you, but I have a point. Here me out and keep reading a bit further. I'm going to lay out a few "truths", and then circle back to make my point. Give me about 5 minutes, it will be worth it, I promise.

Truth #1 - You have a spirit, a soul, and a body. Most people are comfortable with the concept of heaven and angels and stuff like that. Less so are people comfortable with the concept of the devil and demons (but I'm not talking about that right now).

What do you think God actually breathed into man? He breathed in His Spirit. Within you right now, you have a spirit man. The bible refers to this in a few places. For brevity's sake, I will mention one.

Eph. 3:16-"May He grant you out of the rich treasury of His glory to be strengthened and reinforced with might power in the inner man by the [Holy] Spirit [Himself indwelling your innermost being and personality].

So you have a body, You have a soul (which is the seat of your personality, where you make cognitive decisions with your mind and you relate to this physical world with emotions, etc.) and you have a Spirit, with which you relate to the Spirit of God and to things that are born of God.

Truth #2 - If you don't "feed" your spirit Man, you will never perceive or know the things God has prepared for you.

That would really suck if you didn't take this as a warning and married the next chick who looked like she fit the part, but you just didn't know. Believe me; these next five lines could save your life - totally not kidding!

But, you say, how could I miss God?!

1 Cor. 3: 1, 3 "However, brethren, I could not talk to you as to spiritual [men (women)], but as to nonspiritual [men of the flesh, in whom the carnal nature predominates]... (3) For you are still [unspiritual, having the nature] of the flesh [under the control of ordinary impulses].

IF you live your life everyday by Rom. 12: 1-3, it is actually very easy to miss God, and never even thinks twice about it.

I will get back to "feeding your spirit man" in a minute

Truth #3 - God loves you, He wants a very real relationship with you and out of that relationship with you, and He will lead you into all truth, including a wife (and also how to NOT say stupid things to her or hurt her in any way (ladies, same goes for you).

John 16:7, 13 - "However, I am telling you nothing but the truth when I say it is profitable (good, expedient, advantageous) for you that I go away. Because if I do not go away, the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Advocate, Intercessor, Strengthener, Standby) will not come to you [into close fellowship with you: (13) But when He, the Spirit of Truth (the truth-giving Spirit) comes, He will guide you into all the truth (the whole, full Truth). For He will not speak His own message [on His own authority]; but He will tell whatever He hears [from the Father; He will give the message that has been given to Him] and He will announce and declare to you the things that are to come [that will happen in the future].

Why couldn't the Holy Spirit come until Jesus died? Because the Holy Spirit was the Spirit Man of Jesus! The Holy Spirit descended upon Jesus at the Jordan River when He was baptized. The Holy Spirit was the One who led Jesus "by the Spirit" into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil". It was by the "Spirit" that Jesus knew the truth that was in the Pharacies hearts, and what the will of the Father was.

Jesus had a Spirit Man, just like you and I do because He had to walk exactly as you and I do today, otherwise the sacrifice He made for us would not have counted.

The Holy Spirit is the Spirit Man of Jesus, the Spirit of Truth who takes from God, and now reveals truth to us to our own spirits, which in turn let our souls (mind, will, emotions, reasoning) know what the Spirit of the Lord is saying to us. Hence - the unction.

Therefore, being aware of the Holy Spirit and developing your own relationship with Him and developing your own spirit man (being aware of your own "unction" from the "inner man"), will allow you to follow the Holy Spirit as He leads you into all truth.

For all of my brothers and sisters who think I'm crazy, let me ask you one question: the new believers of Acts, did the have the New Testament, or did they choose to pray and obey the leading of the Holy Spirit?

It is not wise for you to discount 1/3 of the person of God and expect to lead even a semblance of your destiny. It just won’t work.

Truth #4 - getting a mate from God should be a spiritual activity in which God reveals to you steps in preparing for a wife, how to talk to her, and letting you know when someone isn't it.

Although there are successful Christian marriages between people that have not led a lifestyle of following the Holy Spirit; and likewise there are many failed marriages in which people did "follow the Holy Spirit".

If you think about the former, those people will have a measure of blessing if they adhere to the basic tenants of the word, but they will never fully enter into their calling apart from His leading.

For the people in the latter group, that is sad, but unfortunately people make mistakes, and you have a devil that is full-time, always walking about like roaring lion seeking those whom he may devour. God promises that He will never allow us to be tempted with something too great for us, that there will always be grace to escape the temptation; but frequently, when people have not developed their spirit-men and renewed their minds, they will likely fall. God always gives us the opportunity to make the right decision.

Pulling it all together

So now we know you have a spirit man, and that it is quite possible for you to miss God and never even recognize His leading via the Holy Spirit to your spirit (which is by the way exactly how God said He would "guide us into all truth" (see above scripture)).

I recommend 2 things to build up your Spirit Man and 1 thing you absolutely must do.

1. Build up your faith and pray the perfect will of God over your life by fervently praying in tongues. Yup, I just said it. And if you make a lifestyle of this, the bible promises that each of these things will absolutely happen. If you don't pray in tongues, keep reading, I will come back to that.

2. Declare over your life the written promises from the word of God. Even when you don't feel righteous, the bible says that you are the righteousness of God in Christ. That is truth that supersedes your current fact or circumstance. Go through your own bible, and declare over your own life the promises God has made you. I will post an example on the blog that you can copy and use. We took it from some of the materials of Patricia King (great stuff btw).

3. and Most Important!!!

Get to know God.

If you were to get married, and once the marriage vows were made, just before that passionate kiss, imagine if that wife said the following to you: "Dear, I will always be faithful to you, but I want to live next door. I don't want to be intimate with you. Sometimes I will spend time with you, but I probably won't ask how you feel about things. Also, I don't care about having children with you, and I don't want to give my heart wholly to you, I may from time to time choose to dance with others, and may even sleep with them, but I will apologize if caught, and I'll promise never to do it again, but I still may. So I'll dance with you, and let's have the wedding feast, but I just want you to know that I will never be intimate with you or wholly yours. K?"

That would devastate you right? That's not a real marriage right? Well, unfortunately, that is a picture of most believers.

God is coming back for a bride to have a wedding, and nothing less. If that's not what you signed up for in becoming a Christian, then you seriously need to find someone who has some real relationship with God and ask for help and prayer. There is a whole different experience with God that you aren't even aware of, and He wants nothing more than to show you and make you his.

Please, get honest with God and yourself. Jesus went through unspeakable agony and torture to make you clean. Once He makes you clean, then you have full right's to access Him in prayer.

Talk to God about how He feels about things. How does He like for you to talk to Him. What are His favorite things you do? What makes Him laugh?

God chose to reveal who He was through Jesus and this creation. Just like to get to know someone through having experiences together and sharing that experience, you get to know God.

It's all about time spent and experiences shared. If you never have spent time with God that way, start tonight. You'll be glad you did.

Lastly

So applying this to marriage - this is the easy part. If you are being led by God, then He will set up everything for you. He will attract you to the right woman; He will cause you to notice the special things about her; it won't be lust, it will have a purity about the love that edifies and builds up rather than takes and idolizes; He will supply all of your needs - time, money, support - all these things as He continually sets up your times together; and then He will equip both of you for one another, leading you both through decisions to get each of you on His path for your lives individually and together, and there will be perfect harmony.

All said, you win the fight in obtaining your mate before they ever show up. You fully have the capability in making all those decisions, and having a joy-filled ride with God the whole way as you watch Him triumph in your life continually!

God Bless

PS - getting back to those things that I mentioned earlier

1. You don't speak in tongues

2. Being led

If either of these are a concern for you, then do yourself a favor and download or buy a copy of Bethany's Book - Born of the Spirit and then also The Spirit of Triumph. In these books she goes through in great detail steps to get you equipped. I recommend those because I know first-hand the hours of prayer and integrity that went into those books. There are other good ones too, but I know those are safe and will edify you.

Where's my wife? Blog #3 Bethany's Perspective

2009-10-27T19:06:00.000-07:00

Now that you've read a couple of posts from my husband, it's my turn. And believe me, I'm not going to be as nice as he is to you men!

A little about my background in case you don't know...

My parents divorced because of my dad's philandering, my stepdad abused me physically and verbally. My ex husband cheated on me and I put him in jail for domestic violence. I worked in strip clubs as an entertainer for five years, learning how to manipulate (usually married) men so I could make more money.

I became a Christian and decided to walk holy before the Lord. I married a wonderful Christian man who also is committed to a lifestyle of holiness.

I know men VERY well.

I know how insecure you are.

I know how easily decieved you are.

and... I know how easy it is for a women to wrap you around her little finger by simply resisting your attempted (or imagined) advances.

I also know the DUMB mistakes you make over and over again. Nothing new under the sun!

I have yet to be suprised by a man's actions, or lack thereof.

Scared yet? You can either take this like a man and learn from it, or gripe about it and stay single.

Mistake #1

A good, pretty Christian women who is your friend and a perfect match is always around. But do you notice her? No. You are only interested in the flashy, flirty, somewhat saved, but you aren't sure, nut case who only shows up to church to score a man. And hopefully a financially successful one.

And then when she rejects you after leaving you for your friend with the convertible sports car, you wonder, "Why hasn't God sent my mate yet?"

My conclusion: Wake up! If you have been praying for a wife for a considerable amount of time, and are more than of age to marry, then your future wife is probably already in your life! Stop going for the broad who tickles your fancy because in your head you think she'd make you look good! In case you still aren't sure what a bogie looks like, here are some signs:

She flirts with lots of men.

She acts religious, but doesn't walk in love.

She doesn't bear fruit for the kingdom of God, she just acts like it.

She has commitment issues. Real ones.

She lies. Will tell you that she loves you one week, and someone else the next. Or she will string you along with excuses that you eat up until you are living on pepcid AC because of the emotional upheavel.

She's pretends to be controlling and jealous. She will also cause you to become crazily possessive yourself because your relationship is born of the flesh, not of the spirit, and now you walk around with a heavy burden you can't seem to shake because you are chasing after Satan's spawn.

Did I mention she's an expert at flattery and batting her eyelashes? She will suck you into a vortex of suffering!

Think about some of the wonderful, godly, beautiful single women you know. Is one of them your mate? It's time to open your eyes and ask the Lord if he has already put your future wife right in front of you!

And by the way, Luke and I have personally listened to regrets of men who missed their Godly mate when she was right in front of them for several years WAITING on him! The women give up and move on while the men are left to picking up pieces of wasted opportunity.

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her,and she will greatly enrich his life.She brings him good, not harm,all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12 NLT

Where's my wife? Blog #2 Luke's Perspective: How to talk to Girls

2009-10-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

OK, so you have decided you want to get married; you've prayed about the girl; you've got your list.

Now what?

I have listened to soooo many stories about how the guy asks the girl out (and yes, in some cases, vice versa).

In every successful case, God was in the relationship from the word go, and He gave grace to every part of the relationship that was in line with His will. (I wouldn't try premarital sex, because there won't be any grace on that.) There will be grace on simply speaking to the girl if she is a candidate that the Lord sent to you.

Warning - when you want to avoid problems, avoid problem behavior.

Let me say right here that the "no dating" or the "courtship" doctrines are missapplied if they impede the natural progression of acquaintance, friendship and romantic interest. There is a "religious spirit" that can look like and smell like God, or good doctrine, but the practice of it won't yield good fruit. It won't yield peace, joy and love in the Holy Spirit, otherwise known as the Fruit of the Spirit. Heavy handed religion that is stiff-necked to the leading of the Holy Spirit will never yield the kind of fruit you want to be snacking on the rest of your life. Prayerfully consider your doctrine and beliefs in relationship. I also won't listen to anyone who isn't successful in the area they are giving counsel in. I don't go to doctors who don't have their Phd. I wouldn't listen to singles ministers who are single themselves. It just doesn't make sense.

More directly, if you are old enough to get married, or mature enough to get married, please be aware that the "no dating" doctrince could be setting you up. I can't tell you how many women and men I have talked to in their forties and fifties who are crying because they thought they were waiting for God's best, but they were just waiting. Please don't let that be you.

Since I am writing this, I am going to address another practice I have a majoy problem with. Any time someone positions themselves as "leadership" who will in any way "hear from God" for you, or "approve" of your potential mate, that is a completely disfunctional relationship that has no scriptural relevance, and hence cannot bear any real fruit. God says call no man "father". If you are in a church in which they encourage you to run your potential mate by someone else to get their approval - you need to leave. If they demand that behavior - you need to run.

Godly cousel is frequently neither godly nor cousel. That is too often the truth. Most of the time, the most valuable Godly counsel I have ever received was given by someone who didn't even know they were talking to a major point in my life. In those situations, God gets the glory.

Your counsel comes first from the bible, then your own person convictions before the Lord, and then being open to His input from any source in your life. Most of the time, people's opinions are based on their perspectives, which are inherently limited. That doesn't mean they are bad, you just need to take into consideration that they have limitations, and should not trump your own decision rights before the Lord.

OK, assuming you are in an environment that doesn't limit relationships, it is probably safe to assume that she feels the same way. This next section will cover some ideas in begining the realationship the right way. (yes, that does mean there is a wrong way, beleive me - she will never forget it if you do it the "wrong way"!)

Turn her head

Chances are that if the Lord is putting you two together, nine times out of ten the Lord will have put it on her heart before He put it on yours. Usually, her head will have already turned. You probably didn't even notice. The hard part comes when the girl doesn't let you know because she doesn't want to be embarrassed. She wants someone to chase her.

So what does chasing look like? Well, it's whatever it takes to get her to talk to you. Now guys, pay attention. When you do actually get married, your girl will want the Cinderella story. There isn't a woman alive who doesn't want a man to sweep her off her feet. So yes, that means flowers, chocalate and anonymous gifts.

The church world will typically tell you those things are not proper, depending on your denomination. I don't care what denomination you are, every woman wants to feel appreciated. Every woman wants something to tell her friends about.

If you take time to romance her, talk to her, honor her, you will be laying a foundation of romance, love and appreciation that you will never again have an opportunity to achieve. I am not kidding, forty years down the road, she will remember how well you did/didn't do at the outset of your relationship. Give her the gift of a lifetime by giving her thoughtful, romantic endeavors that show her you are interested in her and you want to get to know her better.

For those that need more help, here are some ideas:

1. Send her flowers with two tickets to the ballet (if she likes the ballet, which almost all women do). Include a card with a time that you would like to pick her up. Ask her to choose the resturant.
2. Come up with a scavenger hunt of the sites in your city; take her to all your favorite places
3. Come up with three "perfect" evenings, and allow her to pick which one she would like you to take her out upon.
4. Find something she likes, and find a creative way to put her right in the middle in one of her favorite things.

No rules, just make sure you don't screw them up...

Women want you to know what to do. They will never tell you blatantly what they want or what they like. They want you to notice. Hence, there aren't any rules, just make sure you don't screw up following them!

Today, my wife gives me a written list of what she wants for Christmas about 6 months before the day; because after several years of hinting, she finally gave up. I really did try to pay attention to what she wanted without her telling me, I just wasn't very good at remembering. (She says she purposely pointed stuff out, but it still didn't help!). She now gives me a list so I don't have to go through agony trying to put together that perfect gift. This past Christmas, I did pretty well. Enough of me, let's get back to you and some general "rules" for when you do speak with her.

1. Treat her with honor. When she talks, listen, engage, and formulate an opinion if you have one.
2. Pay attention to what she laughs at. Spontaneous behavior is who she is. Pay attention to those diamonds in the rough. If you want to impress her, pay attention to her, and care about the details.
3. Don't put up false fronts. Be yourself, no matter how goofy or lame you think that may be. If the real you turns her off, then move on. I have heard over and over that women love dorks and goofy - Why? I think in part because that is genuinely part of who you are. Don't put up a mask if you think you somehow don't measure up. Marriage is about agreement. The entire purpose of your relationship is discovery and fellowship. Be real.
4. Don't hide behind your job, your hobbies, your car, your problems, etc.. Above all - Listen. Go somewhere and experience something together. Take her to a carnival, museum, motor cross (OK, maybe not motorcross), whatever may surprise and give you two something to talk about.

Getting out of the "friend zone"

This one is not as hard as it seems. Know that she is just as scared as you are. Probably worse. She isn't the initiator, you are (or at least she wants you to be). She has to wait for you to make a move, and she is impatient.

1. Know that every woman will think the same thing when she finds a man she wants to be with: Will he like me? That is not a good thing. That is insecurity, and that is a thought that is not from God because it is laden with fear. It is your job to put fear aside in her life. That is part of honoring her. Put her in a safe environment so that she always knows where she stands.

Again, this is a part of your relationship that you will be the forever hero or the person she registers in the back of her head she can put up with (but needs to change as soon as the wedding is over.)

Backbone

Almost all women want a man with a backbone, but it has been a little perverted in our secular culture.

In Eden, God told man to have dominion. That is different than "dominating" someone else. Having dominion in a relationship means setting the boundaries; give her consistent messages regarding affection, trust, understanding, and above all, singleness of mind that she is "the one."

(A wrong application of the doctrine about men being "in charge": In no way, form or fashion is it "OK" for another man to tell my wife what to do. Aside from a situation in which it is your bible study, church, your home, etc., no man has one shred of authority over my wife just because he is a man. That is the stupidest, most chauvanistic egotistical religious thinking I have ever heard.)

So while you are single, just because you are a guy, doesn't necessarily mean you are in charge. In the context of a household forming, like in a relationship that could conceiveably lead to marriage, there are two single people coming together, and you (as the potential head of the household) should take the lead in setting boundaries and defining the context of your relationship. However, any implied or explicit authority probably should not extend into one another's lives beyond showing each other courtesy and respect. Your schedule doesn't dominate hers. Your work isn't more important. Your preferences do not override hers. (and vice versa)

What happens when you don't like her?

Assuming you are prayed up, and honestly seeking God, and you really thought God was in the relationship, it doesn't mean that you have to be committed to getting married to this person if you uncovered something that you have a problem with. By all means, until you put a ring on that finger, you are still in evaluation mode.

Do not be intimidated or controlled. A relationship happens when two parties decide to walk down the same road together. If for some reason, you aren't in agreement, you need to talk about why. She needs to know.

This is hard to do correctly. The only realy solution is honesty and truth spoken in love. If she becomes a stalker, that's when you get to say she's crazy and run! (but hopefully if you do everything else right, you won't get to that place).

1. Set a time to talk to her. Do it in a place that isn't public. Perhaps her place. She may be upset, so you probably don't want her driving.
2. Tell her honestly what you have been thinking. Perhaps you misunderstood somehow. Be flexible. You may have completely misread what was happening. Keep in mind, satan is a deciever and doesn't want either of you to be happy. You may have been completely off and able to move forward with the relationship.
3. If you still need to end it, then do it. Don't mince words. Set boundaries. Tell her you think the relationship isn't going to end up in marriage, and you want to stop seeing each other.
4. If there is something she did, then tell her. Don't leave her hanging. Even though she may cry, she needs to know. She may hate your guts, but if you have a point, then she has the oppportunity to grow from it.
5. Leave. Do not call her. Don't treat her like a leper, but don't send mixed signals. You broke up. You both know it. It's awkward. Don't try to be friends. Don't talk about her at all to your friends or her friends.
6. At all times, before, during, and even after the relationship, treat her with honor and respect.

Summary

1. Turn her head
2. Don't screw up the rules that theoretically don't exist
3. Give her the gift of a lifetime: a budding relationship that fosters friendship, integrity, defined boundaries (not control freak boundaries), a healthy dose of romance and creativity
4. Celebrate her and your relationship

If you do those things, you can have any girl you want. Just make sure she is from the Lord and that both of you are seeking Him first. I know she may be gorgeous, but anything in the way of Jesus will be toppled. Put Jesus first!

Where's my wife? Blog #1 Luke's Perspective

2009-10-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

Q: Who should read this?

A: Any guy or girl, man or woman who wants a non-religous, fairly direct no-frills approach from a guy's perspective (mine), who has watched his wife write books, speak, counsel and generally help women get over bone-headed ideas about how they think a guy should treat them.

This is for guys who are in that weird stage when your single, but want to be married, and you may or may not have a girl in mind. Think of this as a playbook that you somehow got from the opposing team, talking about routes, audibles and game strategy. I wish I had a clue, or a copy of what I'm about to write, when I was getting married to Bethany. Here we go.

Stage One: Planning

Ok, you think you might want to get married. Now what? Do you read every single book out there or try to wing it; go hang at churches or at bars; talk to women who throw themselves at you, or them women you don't every think would give you the time of day? Yeah, there's a lot to consider.

But your not the only person who plans. Next time you get dragged to see a chic flick, or check out the dolls being sold to little girls, pay attention to how much of the time they talk about weddings. You're in trouble.

Women, as a species, plan on a level that most guys never touch. They consider hundreds of scenarios, no matter how remote a possibility the odds of that scenario even coming close to playing out. Just having a plan (read control), makes them feel more secure. Which leads me to two points.

1. At the heart of every women, she needs to feel secure.
2. She will plan most things in her life, but above all, she will absolutely plan her Mr. Right.

What does that mean to you, the hapless guy who thinks it's a great idea to find a girl and get married?

1. Your behind the eight ball, and your never getting out on your own. (It doesn't matter, she will gladly let you out, but I'll get to that later)
2. You have an incredible opportunity to send consistent signals and be the one guy she will ever meet who she actually understands.

The first date/ first lunch/ first movie/ first anything....

Not kidding, 9 times out of 10, after she leaves your company, she will talk to at least one girl friend about whether or not your are "the one". Blow me off to your own loss. I couldn't beleive it myself, but it's true. I have watched it for eight years, and it never stops no matter how old/young they are. They are planning, and come up with a new plan, every single time you have any level of interaction.

So what do you do with all this reconnaisance?

You plan

Here is the good news:

1. If you want to get married, you need to very quickly figure out what you do/don't want in a wife. Again, blow me off to your own pain. Most guys figure out what they don't want in a woman after they have already been in that relationship for a while. That's called bad planning.

You need to pay attention to your own heart, and take a very honest assessment of what is important to you. Put yourself 10 years forward, what do you want your life to look like?

1. Do you have standards on how she looks?
2. Education?
3. Parents - how close, good family/don't care, do they have right relationships (respect your boundaries)
4. Her occupation - if she wants to be a homemaker, are you fine with that?
5. Children - how many - if you have them, does she stay home with them?
6. Spiritual gifting - do you know yours? Do you have a preference on hers?
7. Personality type - do you have a preference? Why do you have a preference? What is yours?

These are just some sample questions, your list will be similar but different. Spend some time on this. Spend as much time as you need to in order to clarify in your own heart what it is that you want. If you want some real help here, go buy my wife's book and bible study. (Where's my mate? and Want to find your mate?bible study) Yeah, I know - shameless plug, but after seeing a lot of weddings work out great when people did the book, $20 doesn't look so bad.

Then pray. Trust in Christ Jesus to put that woman in front of you.

Flexibility, Open eyes, open ears, open heart

Now, this is where this get's interesting. What happens when a candidate show's up?

From personal experience - God decides when you are ready, and it typically won't be when you think you are. Do your best, but try hard to remain flexible. Try really, really hard to develop a love walk with Christ that fosters an open relationship in which you are led by the Spirit of God on a daily basis, and you know it. (There are plenty of books on this. I recommend Mark Virkler-How to hear from God, Kenneth E. Hagin - How to be led by the Spirit of God, any teaching by Patricia King or others like her. Whoever is annointed at the time of your reading this.)

Most guys I have met have not spent much time developing the skill of being flexible to the Holy Spirit, and consequently they make continuous blunders in their relationships. Trust me, you are about to make a life altering decision. Choose a better life and make the right call. If you take nothing else from this, follow God hard.

Let the games begin...

So now, you have a candidate. Perhaps she doesn't know who you are, mayble she does. It almost doesn't matter. Her needs are simple. She wants to be loved. She has been dreaming about a guy who will look at her like he is breathing through his eyes and won't ever look at another women.

Unless something is really mismatched between you two (she's a 10 and used to money, your a 2 and broke, etc.), she will gladly love any man who simply loves her for who she is. I know it sounds like I watched one two many chic flicks, but that's the honest truth.

Never fear: this is so true, that you can absolutely be a 2 and broke and land a 10 that is used to money (just get used to the fact that you'll be working for her dad's company for the rest of your life) if you actually love her for who she is. That happens every day. And it's awesome.

So how does this work?

1. Get very clear with what you want.
2. Be ready for God to answer your prayer and send her. Pray every day to be in the right place/right time and perceive the opportunity.
3. When she shows up, talk to her.

Holy crap, I have to talk to her?

Seriously?? Yes, talk to her, and no, sitting across the table at a Christian conference luncheon with fifty people sitting next to you doesn't count.

1. Get her attention. Find some way to get her alone. When you do, make sure she feels safe, comfortable, and always put yourself in a position of keeping her secure. This could be coffee at a public place, anywhere you can talk. Carnivals are good unless you're a lousy throw and can't nail the target from ten feet to win the 6 foot stuffed animal. Unless of course "goofy" works for you, which it may. But I digress...

2. Talk to her. Ask about her day. Tell her about yours. When you are talking to her, be real with her about your own thoughts. If you disagree, talk about why you think the way you do.

Women value talking the way men are taught to value sex- almost - and I'm not kidding. Talking is a full contact sport with extra hot wings, 4th and goal about to go into overtime. It is that entertaining/valuable to them.

So you now know that your first impression of your future wife to you will probably revolve around something you say, and you will never have a chance to get that back. So do you think it's a good idea to practice and prepare. (I can hear it now - sure, but how?)

Practice makes perfect, sort of...

Here is the good news, you don't have to be a genious, you just have to be genuine. If you are yourself, and she likes that person, then great. If you are yourself, and she doesn't like that person, then you just saved yourself a lot of time and emotional baggage.

Assuming you are talking to a girl who fits the profile, and you honestly feel that she may be an answer to prayer, then the only reason you are talking to her is because she MAY be your future wife. Not to be heavy, but those are the facts. In which case, you only have one thing to worry about:

Consistent Messaging: This means you don't play hot/cold. If you like her, then ask her out. Don't be afraid to let her know that you enjoy her company. If you don't like her, then respectfully let her off the hook and don't call again.

There is one spiritual thing I am going to add here: Paralyzing Fear - this kind of fear keeps you from moving forward. Or, perhaps, you may move forward, but only do it halfheartedly. God has not given us a spirit of fear (timidity), but of Power, Love and a Sound Mind. Do some praying, get in the presence of God, and shake off that fear. It will ruin your life. It's not your friend, and it's not worth it. She needs you to be strong and confident in who God says you are. She can do all the other heavy lifting for now. You just be bold.

If you follow that one step, you will actually have an honest relationship that has a great chance of you finding out if you actually like her. Next post, I'll talk more about specifics, but this one step will save you and them a lot of frustration.

Happy Planning, be Bold and Follow Christ!
Luke

Where's my Wife? a manual for single Christian men

2009-10-13T11:49:00.000-07:00

Hello Singles!

My husband and I are now working on a blog collaboration called Where's my wife? It was going to be called Where's my woman?, but I felt prompted to change it. When we finish the blog series, we will edit it and then publish it. Look for it on Amazon next week!

Love,
Bethany

Pearl of Wisdom #17

2009-10-02T14:21:00.000-07:00

Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and become a slave. Proverbs 12:24 NLT

A lazy person is as bad as someone who destroys things. Proverbs 18:9 NLT

Pearl of Wisdom #17: Marry a hard worker!

LAZY- (dictionary.com) averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion; indolent.

Writing this makes me think that I need to get off my duff more! I am not suggesting you marry a workaholic, but I am saying, DON'T marry a lazy person! Someone who tries to get by with as little as possible! According to the bible, there will be trials and tribulations. You don't want to walk through these with someone who is lazy!

You want someone who is willing to work through hard times. Willing to support their family. Willing to work on your marriage and work through problems with the children.

Where's my Mate? Testimony

Melodie’s* Story

(*names have been changed)

I have always believed that I was supposed to be married since my mid twenties. So I could not understand why I was still single at 39. I dated quite a bit and had some relationships that I thought might lead to the altar but they all fizzled out. I had people tell me, "It's just not God's will for you", or "It's not God's will right now", or "It will happen when you least expect it". None of these answers felt right. I spent so much time wondering what was wrong, or crying from loneliness.

I went to a Bible study every other Sunday. Bethany and Luke came to the Bible study (as guest speakers) one week and immediately the things she said resonated with my spirit. Bethany talked about how Satan keeps people who should be married from meeting and if they don’t meet they won't be getting married and therefore won't be having and bringing up Godly children. They also won't be reaching their destiny. They will end up frustrated because they will be out of the will of God. Needless to say, it was incredible to finally know why I was still single and it was very validating to know that yes, I was supposed to be married many years ago and Satan was the one stopping it.

When Bethany prayed with me, we all (Bethany, Luke and myself) bowed our heads and before anything even came out of her mouth she looked up and told me that I needed to bind the strong man from interfering with my marriage. I did that, made my mate list, bought the book, Where’s My Mate? and birthed out my mate. Two weeks after Bethany prayed, I met Tom.*

I had been trying to meet my husband for about 15 years. God did it real quickly.

I have had people ask me about birthing out a mate. I basically was on my knees, worshipping the Lord, then I told the Lord what I wanted. I just started speaking in tongues and soon the praying became very intense. I could tell things were happening in the spirit realm. Then I felt a lifting and I knew that it was done. I had birthed out my mate and the only thing left was for it to manifest and that would be soon.

Tom* and I were married March 7, 2009; just less than a year from when we first met. I love being married! We expect to be having and bringing up those Godly children very soon.

Please don't give to Satan those years that you should be married. Don't let him take your marriage away from you. God created marriage and therefore it is GOOD. He wants you married (if you had the gift of singleness you wouldn't be reading this book). You may have to fight for your mate through prayer. I had some very intense prayer times. I saw some of the demons trying to stop my marriage. But the mate God has for you and your marriage is worth the fight.

Christian dating advice

Chasing Ishmael

Day Six- Chasing Ishmael

Day Five-Chasing Ishmael

Day Four-Chasing Ishmael

Day Three-Chasing Ishmael

Day Two-Chasing Ishmael

Day One- Chasing Ishmael

Chasing Ishmael

Love Growing Cold

The Spirit of Prostitution

Do NOT shrink back!

Eternal Bliss

What do women write on their mate list? What do men write on their mate list?

Doubts about Marriage

What is keeping Christian mates from recognizing each other?

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study Session 5

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study Session 4

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study Session 3

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study Session 2

Want to Find Your Mate? Bible Study Session 1

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study

Prostitution of the Heart

Doing it right!

Brand new testimony!!!! Lanae's Story

Irresolute!

Common Misconception

The Way is Narrow

The curse of man ruling woman!

Good Advice

Choose-Victory or Defeat

Lowering your Standards

BRAND NEW TESTIMONY!!! Tracy's Story

Dale and Cindy's Story

Laurie Hind's Story

Laura's Story

Hammered!

Just do it!

Laura's Story *New Testimony!*

Did God send them into my life?

Who was St. Valentine?

Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study

Overcoming Disappointments

Hinderances to receiving your mate

Timing

The Holy Spirit is our Helper

What if...?

Can women ask men out on a date?

Common Misconception:

Prudent

Where's my wife?

New Where's my mate? Testimony Matthew's Story*

Where's My Wife? #7 Luke's Perspective

Where's My Wife? Blog # 6 Luke's perspective

Where's My Wife? Blog #5 Luke's Perspective

Where's my wife? Blog #4 Luke's Persective

Where's my wife? Blog #3 Bethany's Perspective

Where's my wife? Blog #2 Luke's Perspective: How to talk to Girls

Where's my wife? Blog #1 Luke's Perspective

Where's my Wife? a manual for single Christian men

Pearl of Wisdom #17

Laura's Story New Testimony!